Grown Ups: Why All The Hate

I get it critics. You don't like Adam Sadler movies. But if that's the case maybe you shouldn't review them because some of us out there really like them. I thought the previews looked funny and then the reviews came out and you all said ICK. Apparently nobody else listened to you as the film raked in over 160 million in Box Office. And now that I've seen it on DVD I can say this is funny movie.
The plot is typical of any Happy Madison movie. A group of old friends get together to go to the funeral of an influential coach in their past. All grown up now, the five are all somewhat different. Adam Sandler is a big Hollywood agent married to Selma Hyack and has two spoiled children and an Asian nanny. Kevin James has an odd family, including Maria Bello as a breast feeding mother to her four year old and a chubby, hostile daughter. Chris Rock is the henpecked husband to Maya Rudolph. David Spade is unmarried and very ungrown up in the group. Rob Schnieder is the creepiest guy married to Joyce Van Patten, decades his senior. His three children have to be seen to be believed. Throughout the movie, the gang stays at a New England cabin and catch up on their current lives. Sure there are fart jokes, breast feeding humor and the usual idiocy, but it all rather works. The most surprising thing is how human everybody comes across, a feat missed by many a movie today. If you like Adam Sandler movies, this one will not disappoint.

3 and 1/2 stars out of five.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice: The Summer Blockbuster That Wasn't

I love Nicolas Cage. He picks to be in some of the most offbeat, albeit entertaining, features of any actor today. Harrison Ford could use his savvy as he hasn't been in a good movie in over a decade. Cage's latest is far from his best work but it was also far better than a lot of the crap I sat through this summer. Unfortunately, it had the bad timing to come out when all the other big blockbuster like the new Twilight movie and Inception came out and was lost in the white noise. It's really too bad because the film was a lot of fun but not without some problems.
Nicholas Cage plays ancient magician Balthazar Blake, an immortal searching for Merlin's replacement for a thousand years. Enter Jay Baruchel as Dave, first seen as a ten year old kid who accidentally unleashes bad guy Horvath(Alfred Molina) from a doll prison. After Balthazar and Horvath are trapped in an urn for ten years, they escape and wage war on each other and hapless Jay in order to unleash Armageddon on an unsuspecting public. Merlin's nemesis Morgana La Fey (Alice Krieg) is the devil in this battle, trapped with Balthazar's love interest Veronica (Monica Bellucci), which both Cage and Molina want to release for vastly different reasons. Balthazar teaches Dave how to be a sorcerer as only he can kill Morgana as Horvath tries to stop them by any means possible. All the while Dave is smitten with his grade school love interest, Becky (Theresa Barnes) who of course has no idea what Dave is up to.
The plot is fun, the action sequences well directed (finally), and the movie moves along at a brisk pace. I am still uncertain about Jay Baruchel as a leading man however. I have liked him in secondary roles like Tropic Thunder and Night at The Museum:Smithsonian. But as a lead, he lacks the charisma to pull it off. He was terrible in She's Out of My League although that film would have needed a huge overhaul to work with anyone. Bellucci and Kreig are for the most wasted in too small a part. And as the title suggests, Dave finds himself ankle deep in water and moving mops ala Fantasia, a scene that probably should have been left on the cutting room floor. Cage and Molina are excellent as always though and make the movie the fun thrill ride it should be. Definitely worth a rental.

3 and 1/2 stars out of 5

Good Hair Good Movie

I know what you are thinking out there: Why would a pale white guy watch a film about black hair care products? Because it was funny and informative that's why. Chris Rock keeps things moving in this documentary about how much money black women spend on their hair and the products they use to keep their hair from being just an afro. The money is staggering with billions at stake. The substance used to straighten the hair of women and some men is actually a dangerous substance that could lead to blindness or hair loss. From everyone interviewed they all said it burned like hell but the effects are worth it. And in that sense they are right. Think hard to how many black women you see at all anymore with an afro. Other than Macy Grey and a random woman on the street every now and then, it's very few. And who can blame them with Tyra Banks, Oprah, Imam and almost every other black female in the media having straight hair. Girls as young as three are being subjected to this legal torture which may be a little young to be doing such a dangerous treatment. Kudos to Sesame Street who just did a video piece on their show that sang a song about being proud of your hair, even if it's an afro. This is why I still love Sesame Street because they still provide great info for both parents and children. But for adults who want straight hair, go for it. It WILL hurt but the effects can be very desirable even going so far as to get you a job and in this economy any leg up is a good start. Chris Rock also goes to India to find out about the hair weave business there that is more profitable than gold. He also intercuts in between all of this with the oddest hair cutting contest I have ever seen. Trust me, rent this film just to see that part. It's worth it. This was a fascinating documentary kept light by Chris Rock being well Chris Rock, one of the best stand-ups today. Even if your an albino like me who will never have to worry about hair straightening, watch what others unlike yourself have to go through to be "beautiful." You'll be glad you're not a black woman who has to subject herself to burning the skin off her scalp.

3 and 1/2 stars out of 5

GRIM REAPER KILLS TWO MORE

Imagine my complete lack of surprise when it was announced today that Good Guys and Running Wilde will be done after their current run of episodes are finished. Both were near the bottom of the barrel ratings wise and I give Fox some credit for not cancelling them months ago. The networks are adapting a slash and burn strategy for their shows, following CBS's successful srategy of moving a lot of their shows to new time slots. Most of their shows, other than anything on Friday, have done very well in their new time slots. With that in mind, NBC and Fox have drastically altered their landscape. Fringe will move to the Friday Night Death slot so it's future is all but certain. The Grim Reaper is already circling anything on Friday's, rubbing his paws over the soon to be dead Medium, Good Guys and possibly CSI NY. Will these attempts work or push them further into the ratings cellar? Only time will tell. It did work for the most part for CBS so who knows. Thursday promises to be brutal with the fast fading American Idol moving to Wednesday and Thursdays, here opposite Big Bang and Community. ABC should consider a test pattern for it's 8 o'clock slot currently showing Grey's repeats. They may want to continue to do that until the dust settles and we see who's standing.

Predators: Never Doubt Robert Rodriguez

This long gestating sequel finally sees the light of day and, surprise, it's actually pretty good. After the dreadful AVP movies, it's nice to see ole lizard head back. I know Predators 2 had it's detractors but I thought it wasn't as bad as the critics made it out to be. This one is much the same as it was savaged by critics and held up to some esteem by the fanboys. It's fast, fun and exciting.
The movie begins with a bang as Adrian Brody's Royce wakes up mid-plummet. As he crashes to the ground, others follow such as Mexican drug enforcer Cuchillo (Danny Trejo), CIA Isabella (Alice Braga), the doctor Edwin (Topher Grace) and death row inmate Stans (Walter Goggins). When they discover they are no longer in Kansas anymore, they are forced to band together to survive against being hunted by Predators. The movie moves at a brisk pace with Lawrence Fishburne showing up briefly as an insane straggler who has survived being hunted for the last decade.
The script is top notch and has been stuck in development hell for some time now. Rodriguez was originally supposed to direct as well but had to drop out due to scheduling concerns. His screenplay was rewritten a tad by two newcomers but keep most of what Rodriguez's original had. Directed by relative newcomer Nimrod Antal (what a name), this guy's got a real future having done Vacancy and Armored, both better then they should have been. All in all, a good rental. Plenty of blood and gore for the non faint of heart of course and the requisite Hispanic girl from the three predators films that matter keep this film grounded. Adrian Brody has never been my favorite actor but he picks good roles and this one is no different. Topher Grace got some flack on the message boards but I liked his character so tough. Rent this if you liked Predator. Skip it if you thought it was testosterone madness.

3 and 1/2 stars out of 5

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: The Franchise Keeps Getting Better

Few movie franchises can say that not only have they been faithful to the books and their readers but also made a butt load of money by doing so. The first two films were serviceable enough with the cast of young actors showing a bright future even if Emma Watson tended to act with her eyebrows. Then came Prisoner of Azkaban and everything changed. Replacing point and shoot director Chris Columbus with auteur Alfonzo Curan was a masterful step and sent the films in a whole new direction. With only the fifth film Order of the Phoenix a disappointment, this series is getting better and better. Mike Newell has proven to be an imaginative director whose first Harry Potter film(Order of the Phoenix again) was more the fault of a terrible screen writer (still have no idea why they hired this hack who had never written anything good in his very short career). But with the return of Steve Kloves, the final book is given a tremendous send off, one that will satisfy fans and newbies alike.
Harry, Ron and Hermonie join forces to find the Horocruxes that contain the essences of Voldemnort. Only by destroying the items will he die. Unfortunately, they have no idea where the items are or how to destroy them. And everyone is looking for them. Death is prevalent throughout the film with both the good guys and evil doers losing key people we have grown to love and loathe for the past decade. And this is only part one.
Daniel Radcliff, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson have all grown tremendously as actors with all three giving the best performances of their career. One added scene of Hermonie and Harry dancing is one that gives the movie emotional heft but also shows one central problem (SPOILER ALERT). In the beginning of the film, Harry and Ginny kiss. There is zero chemistry between the two. None. However when Harry and Hermonie share any screen time together there is an undeniable attraction to each other which is odd because they are never more than friends in the book. The casting of Ginny I never really liked and now it seems apparent why. Minor complaint but hey, it's something I noticed.
The references to the growing fascism Harry and the others witness have real revelence today. It's not so far fetched to think that people like Delores Umbridge are real (cough cough Sarah Palin cough) and could implement the same kind of stringent nonsense real in the real world, like the TSA.
This is a must see movie for any fantasy fan, but only if you've seen the other movies. Otherwise, you won't have a clue what's going on. For the rest of us, July can't come soon enough.

4 and 1/2 stars out of 5

GRIM REAPER STRIKES DOWN DARK BLUE. NOBODY CARES

In a true mercy killing, the reaper has struck down TNT's Dark Blue, the only show of the network to walk the last mile. All of the others, including the rather horrible Mephis Blues and HawthoRNe, will be back next year. Dark Blue had the misfortune of being the zillionth cop show on TV and doing a bad job at from reports (never watched it myself). Not to be outdone, Fox has started showing promos for the soon to be cnacelled Chicago something. It was so generic I've already forgtten the title. ABC has yet to show Body of Proof, swtiching to midseason, probably to replace some ailing show like Detroit 187. While the show still sounds like crap, a new time slot from Friday's at 9 to just about anywhere else can only raise hopes higher for the belegauerd producers. Meanwhile Medium has been given last rites. While it has not been officially cancelled, everyoen involved is seeking out new offers (ala Numbers last season). Patricia Arquette has said the show is done and over and the last episodes they promise to be great with them "burning down the house." Could be fun. Check it out while you still can this smart, creepy show. Medium wil be missed but at least they are going to go out on a high note.

GRIM REAPER STRIKES DOWN ONE, CRIPPLES ANOTHER

The Reaper returned this week to kill AMC conspiracy show Rubicon which will not see a second season due to low low ratings. Actually it was one of the lowest rated shows on all of AMC who has such hits as Mad Men, Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead (which I love). I actually watched the first two episodes before going "meh" and turning it off. As a guy who loves conspiracy oriented shows like 24, Lost, The Event, and Conspiracy Theory to name a few, the writing had to be on the wall for it's success. If I didn't like it, who would. Apparently just a few. Most of the others who watched it had the same opinion that it was too slow for its own good. It will not be missed.
The Reaper has also struck down Fox's low rated Running Wilde for two weeks during sweeps as it's ratings are in the toilet. It's too bad because I like Will Arnett, but he needs to pick better projects because between this and Jonah Hex, he's having a very bad year. Running Wilde is expected to recover enough to appear in the remaining episodes that Fox will burn off, probably during the December/January hiatus most shows have. After that, the Reaper will take it to it's expected resting place of Shows Executed Before It's First Season Is Over, joining Outlaw, Lone Star and Life Unexpected. The funeral will be attended by no one.

A Nightmare On Elm Street: When Remakes Go Horribly Wrong

I loathe remakes for the most part. I dread them like the dentist. Why you ask? Because most are freakin awful. Remakes of films like Psycho, The Grudge, When A Stranger Calls, The Hills Have Eyes, Last House on the Left and a zillion others are never as good as the original. The main reason is that we have already seem what is going to happen, robbing us of any suspense. If you are going to do a remake, there are several things that have to occur for it be successful. First, get an upcoming director with a superior sense of style and a writer who knows what he's doing. This is why the guaranteed failure of the Dawn Of The Dead remake actually turned out to be one of the best zombie movies ever. I love that remake because Zack Snyder is a true visionary director whose failures are more interesting than most people's successes (hello, 300). Then, hire a good cast. Nightmare did all that and still failed. Miserably.
While not a shot for shot remake ala Psycho (still the worst remake ever or least until the long gestating Exorcist remake surfaces again), it does crib heavily from the original and not one shot is ever as good. We all know the story of this movie. Freddy is Jackie Earle Haley, one of my favorite actors right now. His turn on Human Target is incredible and the Oscar nod he got for Little Children was well deserved. But here he's hidden by less than convincing burn make-up. I used to win awards for my Freddy Kruger costume and trust me, my crappy make up job blew theirs out of the water. Freddy gets killed, comes back to kill the children he molested, the end. Only it wasn't that mercifully short. Instead we are subjected to whinny kids I couldn't care less about it. Ronney Mara, from The Social Network and the upcoming Dragon Tatoo remake (that one could be interesting as David Fincher directs), is badly miscast as Nancy. She's way too slight for the part. Nancy was a strong fighter in the original. Here she's a pouty teen. As is everyone else in this movie.
The worst part of this film is they had a good cast filled with great young actors. But then came the writer and director. They took a chance with music video director Samuel Bayer, who apparently can only direct music videos. This film was terrible, director wise, with a total lack of suspense or terror at any given point. More must be heaped on hack writer Wesley Strick who has written such garbage as Wolf and Doom. No more films for this guy please. He hasn't written a good script in almost twenty years. Time to let the healing begin. A few of my friends actually liked this movie (cough cough Brendon cough), which makes me question their taste, sanity and the ability to distinguish between good and bad. This was one of the worst movies of the year, which is no surprise as the studios put it out Graveyard weekend, which is the last weekend in April before the big tent pole films open. Oddly, it made a profit from dumbasses paying to see this drek. As a result a sequel is on the way. I'd rather shave my head with a cheese grater while chewing on tin foil than pay to see it(Ten points to anyone who can name what show that's from). Avoid like the plague. A matter of fact, I'd rather have the plague.

0 stars of 5

UNSTOPPABLE: RIVETING SUSPENSE

Leave it to Denzel Washington to star in another great movie. His Book of Eli will be on my favorites of the year list, and while this one won't, it was still a great movie. The plot is nothing new. Ethan Suplee starts the train rolling, literally, when his character Dewey does some of the stupidest things imaginable, but actions that you could also believe that someone would be stupid enough to do. After getting off a moving train to manually change the track, the train picks up speed and leaves him and his co workers behind. When the train gets jossled into high gear, the title of the picture rears it's ugly head. Denzel is Frank Barnes, an engineer nearing a forced retirement training the new guy Will Corson, played bt Star Trek's Chris Pine. Soon it becomes apparent that these two are the only two who can stop it. Along the way they are coached by yard boss Connie (Roasario Dawson) and stymied by Corporate douchebag Galvin (Kevin Dunn). The ending is never really in question, as in the real life story, they save the day. But how they do it is riveting and Tony Scott's expert directing is a big help. What is really interesting are the corporate happenings that demonstrate that the big wigs are more interested in earnings and losses than collateral damage. True dat. This is a pulse pounding movie with great directing and terrific acting. The end credits explain where everyone is now and trust me you won't be surprised by the results. Especially Dewey's future career path. Trust me it's fitting. The one thing not talked about in the movie is the repayment the train officials gave Frank and Will: a tee shirt and a coupon. If that doesn't sum up why I hate corporate America, I don't what does. At least they have a film now to show them the heroes they really were.

4 out 5 stars

Jonah Hex: Awful, Awful, Awful

You have to almost feel bad for Megan Fox. Sure, she's white hot beautiful and has made a fortune of the popular Transformers movies, but I have yet to see her in a film I didn't hate, loathe and detest all at once. Without a doubt, she has either the worst taste or worst luck in all of Hollywood. Ever. The fact that there are credible rumors that's she's a diva make that feeling sorry for her disappear pretty quickly. This latest film is as bad as any of the others, equally as inept as her last feature Jennifer's Body, a film that she was perfect for had the directing or screenplay not been utter garbage. This was easily the worst rendition of a comic character, worse than Howard the Duck or Electra. Anyone who has seen those bad movies will have a hard time believing that until you see this trash.
Josh Brolin plays Jonah Hex, a badly scarred bounty hunter, whose wife and kids were killed by John Malcovich's Quintin Turnbull. Left for dead, he comes back, now with the added ability of able to raise the dead briefly, ala Hellboy. After killing a bunch of crooked lawmen in a laughably bad scene involving a horse and two Gatling guns, the film lurches to Adian Quinn's president demanding his men get Hex to help stop Turnbull from destroying the world. Or something like that. The plot is paper thin, see through even. Megan Fox shows up as the hooker with a heart of gold (UGH) who helps out Jonah Hex. Why? Who knows and who cares. There is not one credible moment in this entire film. Oddly, the studios gave a 50 million dollar budget to a newbie director who worked as an animator with Pixar and a sketchy writer whose best films with the off kilter Crank and its sequel (which I admit I really liked). The other writer was a camera operator. Trust me, it shows. This film stunk of studio involvement. I can see the pitches now from the MBAtards, "Can we put Gatling guns on a horse? That'd be cool. Can we shorten it to the length of a porno? Awesome." The film is only 1 hour 12 minutes which doesn't leave much for things like plot or character development or a concise story. It is loud, brash and stupid. Thankfully America didn't like it either as it tanked hard in the box office. As a person who actually read the comic a few times, the movie is nothing like the character except in the visual sense only. Brolin nails his appearance, but is far too one dimensional to be of any interest. And the addition of a power Hex never had in the comic is kind of cool and would have worked had it been germane to the story in any way, shape or form. This film was one of the worst of the year. Don't bother.

0 stars out of 5

Toy Story 3: Pixar Can't Lose

What does it say about our movies today when animated characters seem more real than they should. If one looks at upcoming films such as Faster or Burlesque, they seem fake. But not Pixar and certainly not Toy Story. Once again, they have proven to be triumph of film making, storytelling and entertainment, not an easy feat.
The story is somewhat reminiscent of The Great Escape and is brilliantly told. Andy is all grown up and on his way to college. What's a toy to do now that their owner doesn't play with them anymore? The choices for them are a)go to college with Andy, b) go to the attic, c) donate them to needy children or d) go into the trash. With only Woody picked to travel, the rest seemed headed for the attic. But a mix up gets them thrown out instead and eventually make their way to Sunnyside Day Care, which at first seems like a godsend. Toys that are always played with sounds great under the watchful eye of Lotso the Bear (Ned Beaty) and Ken (Michael Keaton), but soon the dark side of the day care system rears its ugly head. New toys are given to the youngest children who proceed to chew, beat and slobber all over Buzz Lightyear, Jesse and the rest. Woody breaks in an attempt to save them but is instead taken by the daycare owner's child, who is a good kid to her toys. As Woody tries to get back, the rest try to keep their heads about as Lotso turns more dictator than benevolent leader. This is a surprisingly adult film with scenes of possible death looming over the characters in a few key scenes. It's also about growing up which, let's face it, the real fans of Toy Story have over the years. But new fans are born everyday as my very young niece and nephew proved when they dressed convincingly as Jessie and Buzz Lightyear. I am not one for sequels, especially this year, but this was one sequel that was incredible, well written and surprisingly human. It is a film for all ages and must see in this year of average pictures.

5 out of 5 stars

Splice: Where the Ick Factor Goes Off The Charts

Some movies never should have been made. Some are obvious like remakes of Godzilla or Psycho. Others are visually fresh but overwhelming like Sky Captain or 300. And then there's movies like this where the first act sets up a promising set up and then abandons it in a series of horror movie cliches that a five year old retarded monkey would see coming.
Adrian Brody (an actor I'm rather indifferent to) stars as Clive Nicol, a scientist married/dating? (this is never explained) to the very pretty Elisa Kast (Sarah Polly), both of which have a terminal case of the stupids. They work for NERD, a scientific group contracted by a Big Pharma company to invent a new chemical. They have genetically made a new life form, called Ginger and Fred who look like big slugs, and have realized that they could add human DNA to their Frankenstein creation for better effects. Incidentally their names are references to the original Frankenstein movies and the actors in them. They of course do and give "birth" to Dren, a humanoid female with weird legs, far set eyes and a tall with a stinger. Here is where the film goes off the rails, with the characters doing the dumbest things imaginable, including having sex with the creature and a bizarre rape sequence that I wish I could unsee. Somewhere, somehow this movie went from a Frankenstein cautionary tale to an off the charts gross out and I don't mean blood and gore. Brody's character is one of the most repulsive ones I have ever seen in a movie. Why God Why would he sleep with that thing? YUCK. I needed a shower after seeing this drek. Dren is played by a french girl (Delphine Chaneac) who locks odd in real life with far set eyes, which is almost certainly why she got the part. If you want to see dumb people make stupid decisions, this is the film for you. If you're like me screaming at the screen don't go in there dummy, miss this. I wish I had.

1 star out of 5

GRIM REAPER TOUCHES UNDERCOVERS: NO ONE IS SURPRISED

In what was a long time coming, NBC axed first year drama Undercovers due to very very low ratings. What was most surprising about this was how long it actually was still on the air. Almost every NBC show was picked up for the year two weeks ago, including train wrecks L&O:LA and Chase, but not Undercovers, which was the writing on the wall. Much has been made about the two black leads being the reason in a not so veiled statement about racism in the US. But that was hardly the reason. If the two leads had been white and just as deadly dull, the show still would have been cancelled. I wanted to watch it at first due to JJ Abrams involvement but the previews looked bad and the reviews were horrible so I, like millions of others, never bothered. It now goes to the dust pile of forgotten shows joining My Generation, The Whole Truth, Life Unexpected and Outlaw. Three more episodes are expected to air and then poof it will be gone. Watch it while you can fans.

GRIM REAPER RETURNS: LIFE UNEXPECTED SENT PACKING

In a non shocker, low rated CW program Life Unexpected had its run cut from 22 to 13. Much like CBS' Medium, this bodes badly for the second year show which is the lowest rated program on the CW, even by their standards. However, this year the CW has done amazingly well on Wednesday, Thursdays and especially Friday. The combo of Smallville's final season with the cult favorite Supernatural has been gangbusters for the network, winning the night a few times, a feat unheard of normally. The other four networks are struggling to keep viewers on Fridays, while CW keeps chugging along. Life Unexpected was widely considered a lost cause and will not be missed, except by the few thousand people still watching it. CW has promised to end all the story lines for the show when it goes off the air, something most of the other channels would never do. So a big thumbs up for not screwing the few watchers you have. Maybe you remember what happened after your cancellation of Angel which led to the end of the WB. Who will the Reaper strike next?

Night Of the Lepus(1972): Giant Killer Rabbits Attack

Let's face facts with this film: It's terrible. But I truly believe that some films are so bad that they become highly enjoyable (Hello, Showgirls and The Rocky Horror Picture Show). A movie about giant killer rabbits definitely fits into this genre. A must see for any true horror fan, this minor opus is filled with famous actors, terrific miniature sets and those classic horror moments where you say to the beyond oblivious characters, "Don't go there. You'll get eaten." And then they do. And then you laugh. This is not a scary movie by any means but it is a lot of fun if bad monster movies are your thing. If you expect Hamlet, watch something else. If you want a guy in a bunny suit attacking people, this is your film.
PLOT-Giant bunnies terrorize a small southern town. Janet Leigh (Psycho) stars as Gerry Bennet, a rancher's wife with a rabbit problem. Along with her daughter Amanda (Melanie,Fullerton) and her husband Roy (Stuart Whitman) they reach out to a local scientist conducting tests on rabbits. When Amanda switches rabbits that had been injected with a secret serum, all hell breaks loose when the bunny escapes into the wild. Within days, they and fellow rancher Cole Hillman (Rory Calhoun), Sheriff Cody (Paul Fix) and friend Elgin Clark (DeForest Kelly) team up to stop the rampaging monsters. What follows is a very funny, albeit unintentially, film filled with forced perspective on actual rabbits, miniatures and a guy dressed in an unconvincing giant rabbit outfit.
NUDITY-None and thank God for that as the only females here are Janet Leigh in her fifties and her ten year old daughter.
GORE-Not much. Most of it is the bright red 70's style blood. A rancher gets mauled by a guy in a bunny suit that's more funny than scary.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Dead for the most part.
Janet Leigh of Psycho fame continued her scream queen ways with roles in John Carpenters' The Fog and Halloween H2O, both of which starred her daughter Jamie Lee Curtis. She died in 2004 at age 77.
Rory Calhoun did bit parts on shows like Fantasy Island and Tales From the Crypt but was best known as the evil Vincent Smith in the horror classic Motel Hell. Calhoun died at age 76 in 1999.
Deforest Kelly had his last non Star Trek film role with this magnum opus. He died in 99 at age 79
Director William Claxton went on to a decent career in TV with shows like Fame, Highway to Heaven, and Little House on the Prairie. He died in 1996 at age 81.
Writer Don Holiday had his only screenplay be this one. I can kind of see why.
AVAILABILITY ON DVD-not at this time

RED: GERIATIC FUN

Most action movies nowadays have young pretty people in exotic locations performing outlandish stunts and huge explosions. This is not one of those movies. At least not the age quotient or exotic locals anyways. The rest is a loud, brash, huge amount of fun that most movies this year have a suspicious lack of. Bruce Willis' last movie Cop Out wasn't half as good as this and it shows in the actor's performance. You can tell he's having a blast with the part, one of his best since John McClane.
Willis plays Frank Moses, a retired, lonely spook who tears up his social security checks so he can talk to a pretty customer service rep, Sarah, the electric Mary Louise Parker. With these early scenes, we get all sorts of important background on these two, destined to fall for each other. After hanging up with her, Frank's house is turned into Swiss cheese by a hit squad. He expertly dispatches the bad guys and heads to Kansas City, knowing that they will soon be after his beloved Sarah. Once there, she of course thinks he's a raving loon and is forced to kidnap here to protect her. As she soon finds out that there really are people out to kill her, she helps Frank track down his old team who are also in danger. Morgan Freeman is Joe, dying of stage four liver cancer. John Malkovich is Martin, an agent driven batty by years of secret LSD test done on him. Rounding them out is Dame Helen Mirren, a spitfire of dangerous weapons. They team up, along with Brian Cox's Russian Ivan, to foil the CIA's assassins after them for unknown reasons which I won't spoil here. The movie is nonstop action, comedy and a sprinkle of drama to give us one of the years best pictures. Karl Urban, best known as Dr. McCoy in the Star Trek reboot, gives a real gravitas to the role of William Cooper, the CIA agent given the task of "retiring" the old crew. His scenes opposite Willis are incredible with a fight scene in Langley destined to be on MTV's movie awards for just such a thing. Ernest Borgnine at 93 is still a spry thing and its really good to see him in a movie again. The locales are widespread but hardly exotic, which is part of the film's charm of going to places like Mobile, Alabama and Kansas City. Hardly typical but much needed in a day of local overkill (Day and Night I'm looking at you). Easily the best spy thriller/comedy of the year, easily beating the far inferior Killers or Day and Knight. The oddest surprise comes form director Robert Schwentke whose previous films have been the terrible Flightplan and the Time Traveler's Wife. I don't know what he did right this time but keep it up. These are the kinds of films you should be doing. A must see for action lovers. You won't be sorry

4 and 1/2 stars out of 5

GRIM REAPER MAKES SURPRISE VISIT: CAPRICA AND THE WHOLE TRUTH MEET THEIR MAKER

In a "told you so" moment, both Caprica and The Whole Truth have been axed this week. The Whole Truth was on my worst of the year list, which has now joined Outlaw on the scrap heap of really bad boring legal drama. Somehow, The Defenders has stuck around and Dana Delaney's show Body Of Proof is nowhere to be seen, but at least this sinking ship has finally touched bottom. Truth was one of the lowest rated show on all of regular TV and the pit of ABC's shows in total so it's demise was a forgone conclusion. Oddly, many a show that are getting dismal ratings have stuck around, most likely because the networks don't have anything to replace them with yet. Caprica was also axed this week, with the final episodes to be burned off at a later date. Not a big surprise as they took their superior flagship show of Battlestar Galactica and turned it into a dull prequel soap opera. The producers said that they wanted a show that would appeal to a mostly female audience. In Science Fiction. What were they smoking? That is not to say that their aren't female science fiction fans out there. There are. However, the number is staggeringly small compared to the male fan base of which Galactica was comprised of. It would be the equivalent of the Playboy channel deciding that in order to raise ratings, they would show more male nudity across the board. The next sound they would hear is millions of people turning to a different station, which is exactly what happened with low rated Caprica, low even by SYFY channel's standard. A prequel is a hard sell to begin with. Don't hamstring yourself by making a show for a very small demographic. There is a reason why networks don't do shows like this. They fail overwhelmingly. Good bye Caprica and the Whole Truth. You won't be missed.

GRIM REAPER SIGHTED: IS MEDIUM NEXT?

CBS recently announced that the low rated show Medium will have it's episode count reduced to 13. This is too bad because the show is actually quite good still. But ratings have placed it at the bottom of CBS's scedule and they will have to make room for new series coming out next year. It appears the writing is on the wall for this low rated thriler, much the same way Numbers died last year under similioar circumstances. Flowers can be sent to CBS for the immenent wake. RIP Medium.

Sherlock Holmes Returns in A Study In Pink

Sherlock Holmes is one of the best detectives to ever grace the printed page. With such greats as Basil Rathbone, Robert Downey Jr and even Bill Pullman playing the titular sleuth to perfection you have to wonder why even try to do it again, let alone an updated version that takes place in modern times. Leave it Masterpiece Theater to live up to their namesake once again because this version is one of the best ever.
Martin Freeman, a British actor best known for comedies like Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy and the BBC sitcom Hardware, nails Dr. John Watson as an injured ex-soldier sent home to a life he no longer wants. After running into a colleague from his college days, he is introduced to Sherlock Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch) who comes across like a deranged madman with moments of pure brilliance. The fact the police think of him as a budding psychopath only infuriates Holmes to respond that he is indeed a "high functioning sociopath," and that they should get their facts straight. Needing a flatmate, Holmes and Watson move into together, leading to several instances of others and themselves questioning their sexuality. It is very funny each time someone mistakes them as a gay couple. Holmes sexuality is never explained, here or in the stories, but it has always been assumed that Holmes is more like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory as being asexual, possibly from some earlier trauma with a woman. His drug use is hinted at as well as police search his home for illegal substances, a fact Watson is stunned by.
The plot is pure Sir Arthur Conan Doyle with the pair searching for a serial killer who makes his victims kill themselves. Along the way as the pair gets to know each other better, they encounter enemies from Holmes past including the mysterious Moriarty who is Holmes archenemy, a character sure to play a bigger role in the future series episodes. The series is fun, smart and engaging. Catch it if you can Sundays on PBS. You won't be sorry.

5 out of 5 stars.

The Boogens (1981): Great Muppet Horror

PLOT- This campy horror flick from the early eighties is a forgotten gem for those of us who like our horror movies where the monster is better off sight unseen. And in this film, it's a blessing. When an abandoned mine in Utah is reopened, the miners unwittingly unleash The Boogens upon the Earth. Filled with every modern day movie cliche such as the "It's got a death curse" guy to "That's a strange noise. I better go investigate in my towel.", it still comes off far better than it should due to very good directing and a very creepy atmosphere. Two recent college grads, Mark (Fred McCarren) and Roger(Jeff Harlan), with their two cute girlfriends, Trish(Rebecca Balding) and Jessica(Anne Marie Martin) rent a cabin in the woods. The two male leads are just starting work at the newly opened mine, unaware of the danger to come. Also with them is Jessica's dog Tiger, a Bichon Friese who has more personality than a lot of modern day actors (Robert Patinson I'm looking at you). The movie actually makes the dog a major character in the film, with several scenes totally dog oriented. I really liked that and wish more films would do the same. Once unleashed, the Boogens begin to terrorize the town, pulling people under cars, eating a neighbor or two. The usual in this kind of movie. Because of the ultra low budget rumored to be in the 600,000$ range, the monsters are wisely kept off screen until the end. Up until that point, the Evil Dead monster point of view cam is used to great effect, which is basically a camera placed on a board and then run toward whoever is screaming at the time. When the monsters finally do show up at the end, they look more adorable than threatening. Resembling a cross between a turtle and a squid, they pretty much look like a Muppet on a wild acid trip. Thankfully, the Boogens are only seen in the last five minutes because watching Fozzie Bear on a meth binge isn't that frightening. Still, the movie is a classic of the time period and highly recommended.
NUDITY- Rebecca Balding who plays Trish is the only girl to give us a brief shot of her butt after getting out of the shower and a quick peek of her breasts during a tame sex scene. While Anne Marie Martin who plays Jessica does take a shower and runs around in a towel for what seems like an eternity, no nudity for her. In the scene where she is struggling against an unseen Boogens, you can clearly see she is wearing towel colored underwear. Lame.
GORE- Not much until the end. One character gets his face ripped open, another has a Boogens eating his face. The blood is that typical "WOW that's red" blood seen quite a bit back in the 70's and 80's. You'll see far worse on CSI on any given week.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Rebecca Balding has had a spotty career since this movie with mostly guest parts on shows like Matt Houston, Melrose Place, and ER. Her last role was a multi episode arc on Charmed. She has not worked since 2006 but is doing an audio commentary for the DVD release of her 1980 movie Silent Scream, which came out in 2009. While watching this movie, I couldn't help think that I had seen her before on something else around the same time period. Find out she was a recurring character on the great 70's spoof Soap as Carol David.
Fred McCarren followed a similar route with guest spots Hill Street Blues, Gimme a Break, Too Close For Comfort and The Golden Girls, which was his last televised spot way back in 1991. He married and had six children. Unfortunately, he died of colon cancer at the relatively young age of 55 in the same town he was born in of Butler Pennsylvania.
Anne Marie Martin had the best career path, albeit not in the movie industry. After a run of guest spots on shows like The Young Ones, St Elsewhere and Sledge Hammer, she then married Michael Crighton, one of the top authors of the time and a writer of such classics as Jurassic Park and the Adromedia Strain. Ka-ching. She then retired from acting to help raise their child Taylor Anne. They divorced in 2002 after five years of marriage to a settlement of 31 million dollars tax free and several works of art such as Lichtenstein's sculpture "Day and Night", Rene Magritte's "L'usage De la Parole," and a Jasper Johns lithograph. She also got 17 horses spread across the globe. All in all, a pretty good pay day for five years of marriage.
Jeff Harlan is the only actor from this film still working today. He has appeared in such shows as Wings, Doogie Houser, Judging Amy, and the films Fat Albert and Auto Focus. His latest role was a part on Castle in 2009.
Jon Lormer went on to be best known as the "I want my cake Bedelia," guy from Creepshow. He died of natural causes in 1986.
DIRECTOR-JAMES L CONWAY was the most successful with a career in TV that still continues on shows like Supernatural and 90210 as of 2010. A busy career, he also directed episodes of all four Star Trek series, Psyche, Matt Houston, and Smallville.
WRITER- JIM KOUF(under pen name Bob Hunt)- Another highly successful writer/producer that went on to pen Con Air, Stakeout, National Treasure 1 and 2, and the Hidden.
AVAILABILITY ON DVD- Not at this time.