Saturday, May 12, 2012

REAPER GOES POSTAL: DOZENS OF SHOWS AXED

In what can only be described as a bloodbath, the networks made their decisions to cut many low performing shows from their ranks, only a few of which I watched at all. The Reaper was busy this week feasting on  some terrible shows that really should have been killed weeks ago.

NBC
"Grimm," "Law and Order: SVU," "The Office," "Parenthood," "Parks and Recreation," "Smash," "Up All Night" and "Whitney" have all been renewed for full seasons.

I know some of you are out there saying "Whitney, why, God, why?" However, I found the show very funny and am glad it is returning.

"30 Rock" is scoring a 13-episode final season, "Community" will get a 13-episode fourth season.

Awesome news there. I love those shows and am glad to see them get one more season.

Cancellations include "Are You There Chelsea?," "Awake," "Bent," "Best Friends Forever," "Free Agents," "The Firm," "Harry's Law" and "Prime Suspect".

Other than Awake, which was better than many said, the rest was worthless drek.


ABC
Full season renewals have been approved for "Body of Proof," "Castle," "Don’t Trust The B—- In Apt. 23," "Grey's Anatomy," "Happy Endings," "Last Man Standing," "The Middle," "Modern Family," "Once Upon a Time," "Revenge" and "Scandal".

No surprises here.

"Private Practice" has been renewed for what's likely a final 13 episode season. "Cougar Town" has been cancelled on ABC but the deal with cable channel TBS is done so it will find its new home there.

Cancellations include "Charlie's Angels," "GCB," "Man Up," "Missing," "Pan Am," "The River" and "Work It". "Desperate Housewives" finished this season.

Work It wasn't as bad as people said, while the rest, especially the awful The River, comes as no surprise. Missing had no way to work the plot past one season, GCB had no demographic to target and Pan Am was Mad Men in flight.

FOX
Full season renewals include "American Dad," "Bones," "The Cleveland Show," "Family Guy," "Glee," "New Girl," "Raising Hope," "The Simpsons," and "Touch".
 
Nothing terrible here, except maybe Glee, but I am hardly the target audience.

"Fringe" has scored a renewal for a 13-episode final season.

WOO HOO!

Cancellations include "Alcatraz," "Allen Gregory," "Breaking In," "The Finder," "I Hate My Teenage Daughter" and "Terra Nova". "House" finished this season.

AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW! I liked Alcatraz and the Finder. Breaking In and Terra Nova were meh. Allen Gregory sucked.

The fates of "Bob's Burgers" and "Napoleon Dynamite" are still to be determined.

Come on Reaper.

The CW
Full season renewals for "90210," "Hart of Dixie," "Nikita," "Supernatural," "Vampire Diaries".
"Gossip Girl" has been renewed for an 11-episode final season.

I am glad Supernatural will be back and am stunned that low rated Nikita, which I stopped watching after it just became silly, will return.

Cancellations include "The L.A. Complex," "Ringer," and "The Secret Circle". "One Tree Hill" finished this season.

Ringer was one of the worst new shows out there. It will not be missed.

CBS
Full season renewals for "2 Broke Girls," "The Big Bang Theory," "Blue Bloods," "Criminal Minds,"
"CSI," "The Good Wife," "Hawaii Five-0," "How I Met Your Mother," "The Mentalist," "Mike & Molly," "NCIS," "NCIS: Los Angeles," "Person Of Interest" and "Two and a Half Men".

No shockers here.

Cancellations include "A Gifted Man," "How To Be A Gentleman," "NYC 22".

A Gifted Man got half the ratings of The Ghost Whisperer, Gentleman was pulled after two episodes and NYC 22 sucked.

Still to be determined are "CSI: Miami," "CSI:NY," "Rob," "Rules of Engagement," "Unforgettable.

Reaper. Reaper. Reaper.

So there you have it. I will be reviewing some of the new shows one the fall schedule next week when they are officially announced.

Watch for the Reaper to kill a lot of them by episode three.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

GRIM REAPER TAKES THREE FRESHMAN SHOWS: LET THE CARNAGE BEGIN

Next week, the networks will announce their official fall schedules. NBC has already picked up five shows and FOX with three. More on those next week as we look at surefire hits and misses. The most surprising pick up is the near unwatchable Law and Order: SVU that went way down hill after the departure of Chris Meloni. The ratings for it were quite bad so I have no idea why they would continue airing what is, for all tense and purpose, a sinking ship. But NBC has been a conundrum for years, albeit some of their new shows show promise.

But in order to make room for the new shows to air, some dead weight has to go. FOX has announced today that three programs I watched have been 86ed. Alcatraz, the Finder and Breaking In are all gone, pushing up the daisies. I really liked The Finder, as it was a funny, interesting show starring the always watchable Michael Clark Duncan. Alcatraz was quite good as well put never found its footing. Breaking In was cancelled, brought back for some unknown reason, revamped and now cancelled again. That one does not surprise me at all.

So the Grim Reaper circles, hungry for more shows to fill his unholy army. I hear the Charlie's Angels remake and The Playboy Club really upped his stats. Stay tuned for more on the Fall Season and more reaping for the taking.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

THE AVENGERS: AO SCOTT IS A DOUCHEBAG

Every once in a blue moon comes a movie out that changes the landscape and all movies that follow. The last one was Avatar that simultaneously showed how awesome 3D could be while setting the stage for a studio push to release even the crappiest movie in substandard 3D as a way of jacking up prices by four dollars. Win some, lose some on that.

But now comes the Avengers which is, without a doubt, the best superhero movie ever made. It is pitch perfect, never dull and flies by with a two and half hour running time. The story is both simple and complex. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, The Hulk and Hawkeye team up to stop Loki and a Kree-like race from destroying the Earth. They fight, they love, they beat the crap out of the bad guys. It will almost certainly be my favorite movie of 2012.

The biggest surprise is how much people LOVE the Hulk in this movie, considering the last two films bombed box office wise, even though the second one was quite good. But writer/director Joss Whedon nails the Hulk to make him the best superhero in the entire movie. His scenes are a marvel, pun intended, to watch. His fight with Loki may be my favorite battle in any superhero movie ever. I have never laughed so hard at a non-comedy as I did during this film. This film is tense, funny and makes me wonder what executive at Disney should be getting a BIG raise for getting Whedon to direct. This is only his second film, behind the way underrated Serenity, which does you make you question the reason why every studio hasn't been trying to land this genius for the fifteen plus years he has been in the business. Imagine how much money you could made schmucks.

Scarlett Johannson is terrific as the damaged Black Widow, Robert Downer Jr plays Tony Stark to a T and Mark Ruffalo nails the Hulk in his first outing as the green skin titan. There are no bad performances in this film, not one minute that is dull or pointless, and has one of the best climatic fight scenes in recent history.

This film is Star Wars. This film is Raiders of the Lost Ark. And NYT reporter AO Scott hated it.

Samuel Jackson has called on his firing for the review and, while I would normally say movies are subjective, this isn't one of them. If you are a professional film reviewer, you should appreciate all types of cinema. Pissing on this one shows a total lack of understanding of even basic film principles and was one of the reasons his time of At The Movies was short lived. He was TERRIBLE at film reviews. He got his start as book reviewer and somehow moved to film. Someone move him back there because he doesn't what he is doing. If the NYT needs someone new, I am available.

Go see this film today. And tomorrow. And next week. It's that good.

five stars out of five. I wish I could give it more.