Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Last Exorcism: Stop Making PG-13 Horror Movies

This latest in the found footage files, is this misfire that could have been really scary had the idiot studio not demanded a PG-13 film. How many bombs have to be made before these numnuts wake up and see that horror fans really, REALLY hate PG-13 horror films. This movie has all the reasons why.

Starring no one of any recognition and directed by newcomer Daniel Stramm, this low budget horror film only cost 2 million and made 40 million. Had they actually made a good movie, this total would have doubled. Look at Paranormal Activity which was made for far less, grossed over a 100 million domestic and was RATED R. Sure you made a profit but far less than if you had hit for the cheap seats.

The plot was actually rather clever. Reverend Cotton Marcus(Patrick Fabian)is a popular Evangelist who seeks out a possessed person to prove demons don't really exist. He's also a talented magician which plays heavily into what occurs. He is being followed by a documentary crew, recording his travels to the bayous of Louisiana. Once there, he comes across a young innocent farm girl, Nell (Ashley Bell) who may or may not be possessed. She is ultra religious, home schooled and possibly a victim of incest. But as the plot unfolds, it becomes less clear whether she is possessed or mentally ill. Several scenes are actually well filmed and kind of eerie, including a great shot of Nell standing at the end of the hall shrouded in darkness. The ending is subject to some debate as to if it works or not but I thought it was fine.

My problem with this film is the lack of any kind of gore, scares or even horror. It is simply too tame for it's own good. You CANNOT have a demon possessing a young girl without flashing back to the far superior Exorcist, rated R for a good reason. Here, Nell is Reagan lite. She's possessed by a psycho more than the bane of all evil. Bell reminds me a lot of the similarly inferior The Exorcism of Emily Rose, where the actress involved does all her own contortions without special effects, a creepy effect. But here it has no pay off because we know what we going to see is watered down nonsense. There is no sense of danger or even fear. This is a movie that demands nudity, sex, violence and lots and lots of gore. What we get instead is a made for TV movie. A huge misfire that has gotten piss poor reviews from most horror fans.

It's a not a complete waste as the directing isn't bad, the acting is decent and had they the balls to make a real horror movie, could have been scary as hell. But this wasn't.

2 stars out of 5.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Black Swan: The Least Boring Movie Ever Made About Ballet

If you had told me a year ago that a ballet film would be one of my favorites from last year I would have thought you drunk, high or both. But Darren Aronofsky strikes gold again with this incredible decent into madness. Natalie Portman is Oscar Bound with this tour de force as Nina the tightly wound ballerina who is slowly losing her mind. Vincent Cassel, who's excellent in everything, is awesome as the ballet director as the supporting cast also shines. Barbara Hershey is brilliant as Nina's overbearing Mom and Mila Kunis proves she's an actress to watch as Nina's rival/friend/lover.

As Nina prepares for her debut as the lead in Swan Lake, she slowly loses her mind as the pressure becomes too much. The best part is how subtle some of her madness becomes. Some is very in your face as she's constantly seeing herself in others around her. Other scenes are blink and you'll miss it moments, the best taking place in a crowded nigthclub where people in her Black Swan makeup flash by. You'll be constantly looking around to see if anything else is not quite right which makes it a movie well worth seeing multiple times.

Even without the madness sweeping through her life, the parts of how hard ballet is pack a powerful punch. Split fingernails and toenails will have even the most hardened movie goer wincing. This is very realistic gore not the over top spectacles of Friday the 13th which makes it far far worse to sit through.

Make no mistake. This is a very difficult film to sit through. It's unsettling, upsetting and brutal. Plus Nina's madness makes her the most insane protagonist since Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. Like Bateman, she's so insane that she can't tell what is real and what isn't. And that makes the film that much more exciting and riveting. If you like psycho sexual dramas, don't miss this one. If realistic gore and insanity aren't your thing, rent How To Train Your Dragon.

5 stars out of 5