I'll admit the previews for this film did nothing for me. I thought it would be like all the other kid films that came out this year and be more sugar coated crap. Then I saw it and realized the critics were right. This is one of the year's best.
Jay Baruchel plays Hiccup, a small Viking teenager where Dragons are real and eat the villagers. His father Stoick (Gerald Butler) is the leader and a powerful warrior embarrassed by his weakling son. Hiccup soon discovers an injured dragon and befriends it and in the process becomes the dragon whisperer. With his ability to charm dragons, he becomes the big hit of the village, unknown to them that he is secretly making friends with the same dragons the vikings are trying to kill.
The dragon he befriends is possibly the most adorable animated creature ever. With big eyes and lots of personality it's like watching him train a dog that breathes fire. This is a film for everyone of all ages. Run out and buy this movie today. The only issue was the two Scottish accents in a sea of American voices. Why Scottish? With Vikings? This made no sense at all and actually hurt the film. Gerald Butler hurting a movie? When has that occured? Oh that's right, always. Other than that though the film is perfect.
4 and a half stars out of 5.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The Mechanic: Jason Statham Rocks
Seriously does this guy ever make a bad movie? Not lately as he hits another out of the park making him one of my favorite actors today. I can;t tell you the last film with him in it that I didn't run out to see in the theater. And this remake of Charles Bronson's 72' thriller is not different. It kicks ass.
The plot is very similar to the original where Statham plays Arthur, a hit man known for impossible kills. The opening shows how he kills a cartel baddie by making it look like he drowned in the pool. Awesome. From here, Arthur is forced to kill his father figure and mentor leading to alkl sorts of problems. His loser son Steve(Ben Foster) wants to help find the killer of his father, a great albeit small part for Donald Sutherland, not knowing of course that Arthur is the one that did the job. Along the way, it emerges that the whole thing was a sham and the guy who set up the hit (Tony Goldwyn) is the real big bad. Steve and Arthur team up to take him down.
The movie is action packed, some great nudity from a hot Victoria's Secret model and is a really good remake for once. All action fans should run out for this one. Jason Statham is hot property right now and deservedly so.
3 and half stars out of 5
The plot is very similar to the original where Statham plays Arthur, a hit man known for impossible kills. The opening shows how he kills a cartel baddie by making it look like he drowned in the pool. Awesome. From here, Arthur is forced to kill his father figure and mentor leading to alkl sorts of problems. His loser son Steve(Ben Foster) wants to help find the killer of his father, a great albeit small part for Donald Sutherland, not knowing of course that Arthur is the one that did the job. Along the way, it emerges that the whole thing was a sham and the guy who set up the hit (Tony Goldwyn) is the real big bad. Steve and Arthur team up to take him down.
The movie is action packed, some great nudity from a hot Victoria's Secret model and is a really good remake for once. All action fans should run out for this one. Jason Statham is hot property right now and deservedly so.
3 and half stars out of 5
Monday, January 24, 2011
BEST AND WORST OF FALL SEASON 2010
Easily the worst outweighed the best as most of the fall schedule didn't see the second month. Let's look at the real losers of the year.
Generation X- Cancelled after it's second episode, this bunch of whinny pussies made me want to slit my wrists, pop some sleeping pills and hang myself to prevent anyone from watching this mindless dribble. Gee, why no one wanted to watch people they wouldn't hang around with in real life is a big shocker.
S$%T My Dad Says- The first show from a tweet account proves that this is probably a bad idea. Made it through the first ten minutes before shutting it off to protect my brain. Shatner is not funny. Stay away from this comedy that will be lucky to see a second season. It is also the only one of CBS's new shows to come up lame.
Lone Star- Bad name, horrible previews and a serious lack of viewers made this dog be put down quick after two episodes. Critics loved it but no one watched and I do mean no one. The second episode got less than a one share meaning a test pattern would have brought more fans.
Undercovers- Take two dull leads, mix with a forgettable plot line and stir in some bad dialogue and you get this horrific show cancelled after a short run. Claims of racism surfaced for the two black leads but they were more caricature than real. Deserved to be gone.
And the worst show of the year is.......................
Outlaw- Perhaps the most ridiculous show in the history of TV and that's saying something. A supreme court judge steps down to become a public defender. RIGHT. And he's an ultra Conservative who becomes liberal after watching a video of his dead father. Please. Jimmy Smits should know better.
The best of is almost all CBS.
Hawaii Five O-A great remake with Grace Park in a bikini, Scott Caan as Danno and the best scenery on the planet (Grace Park included). A great action show.
Mike and Molly- A really funny sitcom about two hefty people finding love. Katy Mixon is a riot as the stoner sister with Swoshie Kurtz as the drunken Mom. Real comedy.
Nikiti- Again Maggie Q in a bikini kicking high. What's not to like.
No Ordinary Family- Michal Chiklis and Julie Benz return to TV with this story of a family of superheros. Much better than Heroes.
Cape- A surprisingly interesting superhero show also better than Heroes.
And the best new show is .....................
Frankenhole- Found on Adult swim this short animated series is vile, profane and funny as hell. I now have catch phases burned into memory like "You got it," "Moment's over" and the song "Never tell a woman that you care." A must see.
Generation X- Cancelled after it's second episode, this bunch of whinny pussies made me want to slit my wrists, pop some sleeping pills and hang myself to prevent anyone from watching this mindless dribble. Gee, why no one wanted to watch people they wouldn't hang around with in real life is a big shocker.
S$%T My Dad Says- The first show from a tweet account proves that this is probably a bad idea. Made it through the first ten minutes before shutting it off to protect my brain. Shatner is not funny. Stay away from this comedy that will be lucky to see a second season. It is also the only one of CBS's new shows to come up lame.
Lone Star- Bad name, horrible previews and a serious lack of viewers made this dog be put down quick after two episodes. Critics loved it but no one watched and I do mean no one. The second episode got less than a one share meaning a test pattern would have brought more fans.
Undercovers- Take two dull leads, mix with a forgettable plot line and stir in some bad dialogue and you get this horrific show cancelled after a short run. Claims of racism surfaced for the two black leads but they were more caricature than real. Deserved to be gone.
And the worst show of the year is.......................
Outlaw- Perhaps the most ridiculous show in the history of TV and that's saying something. A supreme court judge steps down to become a public defender. RIGHT. And he's an ultra Conservative who becomes liberal after watching a video of his dead father. Please. Jimmy Smits should know better.
The best of is almost all CBS.
Hawaii Five O-A great remake with Grace Park in a bikini, Scott Caan as Danno and the best scenery on the planet (Grace Park included). A great action show.
Mike and Molly- A really funny sitcom about two hefty people finding love. Katy Mixon is a riot as the stoner sister with Swoshie Kurtz as the drunken Mom. Real comedy.
Nikiti- Again Maggie Q in a bikini kicking high. What's not to like.
No Ordinary Family- Michal Chiklis and Julie Benz return to TV with this story of a family of superheros. Much better than Heroes.
Cape- A surprisingly interesting superhero show also better than Heroes.
And the best new show is .....................
Frankenhole- Found on Adult swim this short animated series is vile, profane and funny as hell. I now have catch phases burned into memory like "You got it," "Moment's over" and the song "Never tell a woman that you care." A must see.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Best Films of 2010
While many films like Black Swan, The Fighter or Monsters would have probably been on my list had I seen them, this list is for films I watched last year. Here they are in no particular order other than the best picture of the year at number 1.
10)Machete- An awesome take on the grindhouse films of the 70's, Danny Trejo gets his first starring role and nails it with the titular Machete, a Mexican James Bond type. He kills a bunch a people, beds Lindsey Lohan, Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba, all while looking like a piece of beef jerky. Funny, great action and some spectacular nudity. A must see.
9)the Other Guys- One of the funniest picture of the year. Even if you don't like Will Farrel, check this gem out. Two down and out cops go after a crooked bank owner in one of the most subversive movies of the year. Mark Walberg is hysterical as the hated cop who shot Derek Jeter during game 7 of the World Series. Stay for the credits which are filled with trivia about what the banks are really doing to us. Fabulous.
8)The Social Network- Aaron Sorkin's dialogue is razor sharp as is Jesse Eisienberg's performance as the Facebook creator. If someone had told me a year ago that Facebook: the Movie would be one of my favorites I would have thought you drunk, stoned or both. A riveting piece of life in the new century.
7)True Grit- Normally not one for Westerns, this remake is hands down light years ahead of the awful original. Expect to see Jeff Bridges with another award for Best Actor. Newcomer Haille Steinfeld is riveting as Mattie Ross, the girl out to avenge the death of her father. Gary Ross should be looking at her for The Hunger Games movie.
6)Hot Tub Time Machine- Another laugh riot that is almost semi autobiographical to me. I used to go on ski trips with my friends bank in the eighties and they nailed what it was like. Highlights are Craig Robinson singing the Black Eyed Peas, John Cusack on screen at any time and the fate of the one armed bell man. A true comedy in a year devoid of most.
5)Scott Pilgrim Vs the World- A failure on the box office, this movie was inventive and different. Michael Cera is still playing the same part he always does but the persona works well here. I still think Knives Chou should have been the girl he winds up with but then again I am partial to Asian women.
4)Shutter Island- Martin Scorcese scores again with this mindtrip about a disappearance at an insane asylum. Leo DeCaprio is white hot with this and Inception this year. Does this guy ever make a bad movie? Not lately.
3)Red- Bruce Willis hits comic gold in this graphic novel about retired CIA agents who are being assassinated and are forced out in the cold again. A sequel is in the works. I can't wait.
2)Kick Ass- Another great comic movie about real superheros in today's world. Influential enough to start actual superheros from being born, Phoenix Jones is such a guy, stalking LA in tights and a tazer fighting crime. Way to go dude.
1)Inception- Easily the best movie of the year, this film will take multiple viewings to get all the nuances. Dreams within dreams, Mike Nolan is one of the best directors working today. I can't wait for his final Batman movie.
10)Machete- An awesome take on the grindhouse films of the 70's, Danny Trejo gets his first starring role and nails it with the titular Machete, a Mexican James Bond type. He kills a bunch a people, beds Lindsey Lohan, Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba, all while looking like a piece of beef jerky. Funny, great action and some spectacular nudity. A must see.
9)the Other Guys- One of the funniest picture of the year. Even if you don't like Will Farrel, check this gem out. Two down and out cops go after a crooked bank owner in one of the most subversive movies of the year. Mark Walberg is hysterical as the hated cop who shot Derek Jeter during game 7 of the World Series. Stay for the credits which are filled with trivia about what the banks are really doing to us. Fabulous.
8)The Social Network- Aaron Sorkin's dialogue is razor sharp as is Jesse Eisienberg's performance as the Facebook creator. If someone had told me a year ago that Facebook: the Movie would be one of my favorites I would have thought you drunk, stoned or both. A riveting piece of life in the new century.
7)True Grit- Normally not one for Westerns, this remake is hands down light years ahead of the awful original. Expect to see Jeff Bridges with another award for Best Actor. Newcomer Haille Steinfeld is riveting as Mattie Ross, the girl out to avenge the death of her father. Gary Ross should be looking at her for The Hunger Games movie.
6)Hot Tub Time Machine- Another laugh riot that is almost semi autobiographical to me. I used to go on ski trips with my friends bank in the eighties and they nailed what it was like. Highlights are Craig Robinson singing the Black Eyed Peas, John Cusack on screen at any time and the fate of the one armed bell man. A true comedy in a year devoid of most.
5)Scott Pilgrim Vs the World- A failure on the box office, this movie was inventive and different. Michael Cera is still playing the same part he always does but the persona works well here. I still think Knives Chou should have been the girl he winds up with but then again I am partial to Asian women.
4)Shutter Island- Martin Scorcese scores again with this mindtrip about a disappearance at an insane asylum. Leo DeCaprio is white hot with this and Inception this year. Does this guy ever make a bad movie? Not lately.
3)Red- Bruce Willis hits comic gold in this graphic novel about retired CIA agents who are being assassinated and are forced out in the cold again. A sequel is in the works. I can't wait.
2)Kick Ass- Another great comic movie about real superheros in today's world. Influential enough to start actual superheros from being born, Phoenix Jones is such a guy, stalking LA in tights and a tazer fighting crime. Way to go dude.
1)Inception- Easily the best movie of the year, this film will take multiple viewings to get all the nuances. Dreams within dreams, Mike Nolan is one of the best directors working today. I can't wait for his final Batman movie.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Worst Movies of 2011
It's been a while since I've had a chance to post so here is my annual worst movies of 2011. Over the news few weeks, we'll also be looking at best and worst in videogames, TV and music. There was plethora of bad movies this year that have been somehow narrowed down to ten in no particular order except for the worst movie of the year.
10) Nightmare On the Elm Street- As if the crappy sequels weren't bad enough comes this shot for shot remake of the original. As there have only been three good Freddy's movies (the first, A new Nightmare and Freddy Vs Jason) we shouldn't have had high hopes for this disaster. Rooney Mara was horribly miscast as Nancy and who we have to hope does better in the remake of Dragon Tattoo. Another abject disaster from an unknown director which almost all of my worst of are. The rumor has been that Hollywood is hiring these idiots as they are easier to push around. You're not doing yourselves any favors as this year's box office was in the toilet and December was one of the worst in decades. Samuel Bayer is the hack du jour of this failed opus and, shocker, has never dirceted a movie before. Trust me it shows. The only saving grace is the always solid Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy. Avoid this turd at all costs.
9)Burlesque- Just the world was asking for: another Showgirls without all that pesky sex and nudity. Newby director Steve Antin tries to convince the world that Christine Aguilera can sing, dance and act. That she fails miserably at all three is saying something. Cher's face has all the emotional depth of a manhole cover, her face so tight that smiling is an impossibility. The fact that this piece of crap has been nominated for three Golden Globes makes a mockery of the whole shebang. Watch only if you're gay, suicidal, masochistic or all three.
8)Faster- Yet another no name director sets up shop with possibly the worst screenplay of the year. Why bother with names and plot when you can simply use monikers like Cop, Driver and Killer. The fact that the Rock did this and the equally awful Tooth Fairy says he needs a new manager stat. Look for him next in the sure to be on my worst list next year movie, Fast Five, the sequel to the Fast and the Furious. Vin Disel and Paul Walker should give the Rock tips on how not to pick film scripts as their careers are just about over. The Rock may be soon following.
7) Get Him To The Greek- I unwisely listened to all the critics who said this was a laugh riot. It wasn't. One critic summed it up best as this film was a dozen rewrites away from greatness. Parts were funny, most wasn't and the third act should have been burned and the ashes scattered. Rose Byrne was the saving grace in this flick who somehow upstaged the usually funny Russel Brand. The sad part it was directed by the same guy who did the original, the instant classic Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Without Jason Segal as a writer though, the film suffered mightily as Brand's character changes drastically from the source and not in a good way. P Diddy should stay far far away from acting or singing as he is quite possibly the worst at both. Stick to producing buddy because these things are not helping your image.
6)Sex and City 2- You know you've screwed up bad when your target audience hates what you've done to their beloved characters. I watched Sex and the City and found it amusing drivel with some good nudity to spice things up. But as the divas are all pushing fifty, they wisely let that part slip by. Too bad they didn't have anything resembling a good script which was vile in its racism and out of touch with reality. With people struggling to make ends meet do you think it was wise to rub people noses in the fact that these spoiled bitches are really really shallow? Apparently not and thanks for killing off this series. Men everywhere will rejoice they won't have to sit through another one.
5)The Spy Next Door- I love Jackie Chan. I hate his last few movies until the Karate Kid gave him a much needed boost. This was his worst yet. Cloying, unrealistic and just plain annoying, Jackie is forced to babysit. Nobody wins in this contest. Made as a kids film, small children will be bored by this nonsense. Skip skip skip.
4)Jonah Hex- Worst. Marvel. Movie. Ever. Another first time director, this jumbled mess marks the fourth consecutive movie to suck with Megan Fox. Yes she's white hot beautiful and not the worst actress. However between the Transformers movie, last year's worst of the year Megan's Body and this crap, anything with her in it should be questioned. Way off the source and a scant 70 minutes long, this film makes no sense. Whole sections must have been on the cutting room floor because I challenge anyone to explain to me what happened in this horrible horrible film. Better yet. Don't. I don't care.
3)Nutcracker 3D- I'll admit I have not actually seen this gem yet but it is on every critics worst of the year and in the some cases the worst ever. Shot in grainy 3D and involving some sort of post apocalyptic vision with Nazi rats, this film seems to have been written by a three year old and directed by a guy with dementia. Watch only to see how bad movies can be. This one will be a doozy.
2)Gulliver's Travels- I like Jack Black. Sometimes. Tenacious D is one of my favorites but their film was on my worst of the year list. It seems that Jack Black simply cannot be the star of a movie. His Kung Fu Panda's are funny and I loved him him in Tropic Thunder and Be Kind Rewind but other that, his films suck. And suck bad. Year One. Horrible. Nacho Libre. YEECH. Now comes this crap which from the Box Office standpoint everyone felt the same way. Plus, it's time to end the 3D conversion to grab a few more bucks out of the idiot public. Another 3D disaster.
And the winner is....................................................................
1) The Last Airbender- M Night Shamalangadingdong hits rick bottom with this horrific adaptation of a beloved animated series. How it could be worse than the Happening is beyond me but this guy has struck out hard. All of the kids are white and the bad guys are all Indian. WHAT? That's not how the cartoon portrays them. Filled with plot holes, piss poor 3D effects and laughable performances from people who should have known better. Somebody stop this guy before he writes or directs again.
10) Nightmare On the Elm Street- As if the crappy sequels weren't bad enough comes this shot for shot remake of the original. As there have only been three good Freddy's movies (the first, A new Nightmare and Freddy Vs Jason) we shouldn't have had high hopes for this disaster. Rooney Mara was horribly miscast as Nancy and who we have to hope does better in the remake of Dragon Tattoo. Another abject disaster from an unknown director which almost all of my worst of are. The rumor has been that Hollywood is hiring these idiots as they are easier to push around. You're not doing yourselves any favors as this year's box office was in the toilet and December was one of the worst in decades. Samuel Bayer is the hack du jour of this failed opus and, shocker, has never dirceted a movie before. Trust me it shows. The only saving grace is the always solid Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy. Avoid this turd at all costs.
9)Burlesque- Just the world was asking for: another Showgirls without all that pesky sex and nudity. Newby director Steve Antin tries to convince the world that Christine Aguilera can sing, dance and act. That she fails miserably at all three is saying something. Cher's face has all the emotional depth of a manhole cover, her face so tight that smiling is an impossibility. The fact that this piece of crap has been nominated for three Golden Globes makes a mockery of the whole shebang. Watch only if you're gay, suicidal, masochistic or all three.
8)Faster- Yet another no name director sets up shop with possibly the worst screenplay of the year. Why bother with names and plot when you can simply use monikers like Cop, Driver and Killer. The fact that the Rock did this and the equally awful Tooth Fairy says he needs a new manager stat. Look for him next in the sure to be on my worst list next year movie, Fast Five, the sequel to the Fast and the Furious. Vin Disel and Paul Walker should give the Rock tips on how not to pick film scripts as their careers are just about over. The Rock may be soon following.
7) Get Him To The Greek- I unwisely listened to all the critics who said this was a laugh riot. It wasn't. One critic summed it up best as this film was a dozen rewrites away from greatness. Parts were funny, most wasn't and the third act should have been burned and the ashes scattered. Rose Byrne was the saving grace in this flick who somehow upstaged the usually funny Russel Brand. The sad part it was directed by the same guy who did the original, the instant classic Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Without Jason Segal as a writer though, the film suffered mightily as Brand's character changes drastically from the source and not in a good way. P Diddy should stay far far away from acting or singing as he is quite possibly the worst at both. Stick to producing buddy because these things are not helping your image.
6)Sex and City 2- You know you've screwed up bad when your target audience hates what you've done to their beloved characters. I watched Sex and the City and found it amusing drivel with some good nudity to spice things up. But as the divas are all pushing fifty, they wisely let that part slip by. Too bad they didn't have anything resembling a good script which was vile in its racism and out of touch with reality. With people struggling to make ends meet do you think it was wise to rub people noses in the fact that these spoiled bitches are really really shallow? Apparently not and thanks for killing off this series. Men everywhere will rejoice they won't have to sit through another one.
5)The Spy Next Door- I love Jackie Chan. I hate his last few movies until the Karate Kid gave him a much needed boost. This was his worst yet. Cloying, unrealistic and just plain annoying, Jackie is forced to babysit. Nobody wins in this contest. Made as a kids film, small children will be bored by this nonsense. Skip skip skip.
4)Jonah Hex- Worst. Marvel. Movie. Ever. Another first time director, this jumbled mess marks the fourth consecutive movie to suck with Megan Fox. Yes she's white hot beautiful and not the worst actress. However between the Transformers movie, last year's worst of the year Megan's Body and this crap, anything with her in it should be questioned. Way off the source and a scant 70 minutes long, this film makes no sense. Whole sections must have been on the cutting room floor because I challenge anyone to explain to me what happened in this horrible horrible film. Better yet. Don't. I don't care.
3)Nutcracker 3D- I'll admit I have not actually seen this gem yet but it is on every critics worst of the year and in the some cases the worst ever. Shot in grainy 3D and involving some sort of post apocalyptic vision with Nazi rats, this film seems to have been written by a three year old and directed by a guy with dementia. Watch only to see how bad movies can be. This one will be a doozy.
2)Gulliver's Travels- I like Jack Black. Sometimes. Tenacious D is one of my favorites but their film was on my worst of the year list. It seems that Jack Black simply cannot be the star of a movie. His Kung Fu Panda's are funny and I loved him him in Tropic Thunder and Be Kind Rewind but other that, his films suck. And suck bad. Year One. Horrible. Nacho Libre. YEECH. Now comes this crap which from the Box Office standpoint everyone felt the same way. Plus, it's time to end the 3D conversion to grab a few more bucks out of the idiot public. Another 3D disaster.
And the winner is....................................................................
1) The Last Airbender- M Night Shamalangadingdong hits rick bottom with this horrific adaptation of a beloved animated series. How it could be worse than the Happening is beyond me but this guy has struck out hard. All of the kids are white and the bad guys are all Indian. WHAT? That's not how the cartoon portrays them. Filled with plot holes, piss poor 3D effects and laughable performances from people who should have known better. Somebody stop this guy before he writes or directs again.
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