Monday, September 26, 2011

New Show Roundup. The Grim Reaper Circles

Let's take a look at last week's premieres and newcomers and the ratings. Overall, Fox and CBS must be very pleased, CW is meh, and ABC and NBC wondered when basic cable starting beating most of their programming.

Monday Sept 19th- CBS as a spectacular night as the revamped Two and A Half Men got spectacular ratings and elevated the very promising Two Broke Girls to the highest rating for a new show on CBS in years. Hawaii 5-0 dipped slightly but was against the Charlie Sheen Roast which got the best ratings ever for Comedy Central. Predictably, the other networks tanked. NBC, whose fall programming must have been made by retarded monkeys, sank to the bottom as The Sing Off flamed out (shocker) and the badly reviewed Playboy Club went down with it. Fox's Hell's Kitchen held it's own in its finale and should do great numbers with tonight's highly anticipated Terra Nova. ABC's Dancing With Stars (and I use that last term loosely) sank against big completion with a flagging show. On Monday's ABC and NBC are in trouble.

Tuesday Sept 20th- Once again, Fox and CBS were the nights big winner with NCIS leading the way, crushing everyone. The Biggest Loser is another show, now without popular trainers like Gillian Michaels, dying on the vine. ABC's Dancing recap also tanked. Glee showed its usual strength and new show The New Girl, killed at nine. I saw it and it was funny and holds real promise. Others I know who watched it liked it as well, so this show looks like a hit. Ringer lost 800,000 viewers as people watched and realized the SPFX sucked (we're still making fun of the godawful boat scene). Fringe this week used the twin idea perfectly, showing that yes you can show two of the same people in the same shot, and not make it look like a 50's soap. The show will limp along but most likely won't be back next season. Any other network and this turkey would have been carved up and served already. Tonight comes Tim Allen's horrific new sitcom. It's s solid shot to be first to go, except it's a weak evening. Ten O'clock must have been DVR time as all the major shows, especially the awful Unforgettable, died.

Wednesday- Another night of Fox and CBS high fiving each other while the other three sit and sulk. As expected, X-Factor and Survivor crushed the competition, even though neither were powerhouses in and of themselves. The other shows just sucked that much worse. Free Agents, possibly the worst new show out there, committed suicide, driving down the rest of the night. Harry's Law finished with a 1.2 meaning its days are numbered and SVU saw it's worst premiere numbers ever. Plus, SVU without Stabler was soooo boring. And the new girl from cancelled series Chase is just as dull. Good actress she isn't. H8R saw such bad numbers that I'd be surprised if it stays in the air much longer CW or not. ABC's one bright spot is Modern Family which wasn't that funny this past week, but scored huge numbers for the night. Hopefully it gets better. Julie Bowen was the saving grace in both episodes. Well deserved Emmy for her.

Thursday- NBC's one night to be happy as the Office took over at nine while Whitney, a very funny show, did okay afterward. CBS did well at eight with double feature of Big Bang, slid a little with the aging CSI and finished the night strong with the Mentalist. X Factor did well for Fox again (they just don't have bad nights right now) while the CW did average with their teen oriented shows. Prime Suspect on NBC tanked even though it was actually pretty good. Person of Intrest however was dull, dull, dull. I loathe Jim Caviziel and he really tanks the show. Too bad.

Friday-Kitchen Nightmares and Fringe led the way with Fox laughing all the way to the bank. CBS saw okay numbers for newcomer Gifted Man and CSI NY premieres. CW lost some ground with Nikita and Supernatural while ABC and NBC had reruns.

All in all NBC and ABC should be very worried and CW needs to stop being the teen Lifetime network if they want attract viewers. Look at their programming. Other than Supernatural, their entire line up is oriented toward young girls. Not wise. First to go will be a toss-up between Free Agents, Man UP and H8R. Come back and see how the reaper gets first.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

New show alert: What sank or swam this week

Having watched some of the new programs this week I can report that most were every bit as lousy as could be expected.

Free Agents- Not funny, repetitive sitcom that won't last two weeks in it's certain death time slot. Watch it while you can because this stinker won't see the end of October.

Up all Night- Good premise with real promise. Not the best pilot but it does have room to grow. Maya Rudolph is a stand out as Christina Applegate's Oprah-like boss. She's funny everytime she's on. Plus, when Applegate and Arnett went out partying like teenagers, then had to return to take care of a baby, was hysterical. Not sure if it will catch on, but it was far better than Free Agents. However it's time slot is deadly. Probably won't be on long.

H8R- Also in the Wednesday eight o clock death slot, this poor idea of a reality show might last only because it's on CW. Do we really need to see more of over exposed stars like those from Jersey Shore, The Bachelor and Housewives of whatever city they are from? Trust me. I'll hate most of the fools regardless of whether I hang with them or not.

Ringer- This piss poor pilot was laughably bad. First, it looks like it was made in the 60's using really bad green screens (the scenes on the boat were terrible) and back of head shots to signify the "twin." Twin ideas where stale twenty years ago and this is no better. Gellar is terrible in this part and should be really trying to do comedy rather than serious drama which, as she gets older, seems less and less suited for. Ask Leslie Neilson how that turned out. Plus, I am sick of female oriented shows that play some godawful chick song every ten seconds, ala Grey's Anatomy. Watch Supernatural's episode where Dean and Sam are stuck in TV land by the Trixster to see this parodied to a tee. If this show lasts, TV viewers are retarded.

More to come as more new shows are watched. What will the Reaper get first (free agent's)?

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Best and Worst of 2011 Fall Season: Still Better Than Last Year

As said above, this season is a smidgen better than last season only because the non stop parade of lawyer/cop/doctor shows seems to have reached its thankful end. That being said, there are still at least five shows that will hit the crapper before October is done, although considering last year only a few shows made it past its freshman year and most of them were on CBS (Mike and Molly and Hawaii 5-O), this is a big improvement. What shows will the Reaper get first and which will he ignore? Let's look at the best and brightest.

Terra Nova- Steven Spielberg plus dinosaurs plus time travel equal huge intital success. The trick will be can they keep the tension and interest past the first few episodes ala Lost or will it be yet another non-"Event" or V. I'm hoping for the former myself and will be glued to my TV come Mondays.

Whitney-I love Whitney Cummings as a comic. She is damned funny. Add that Chris D'Elia, another funny comic you've probably never heard of, and this could be a winner. I also love the ad campaign which I laugh at every time. Considering she's producing/starring this and CBS's Two Broke Girls, which has tested very well in early viewings, and she could be a very rich woman in a short period of time. Go Whitney.

X-Factor- I'll admit it. I love American Idol. I used to be in the entertainment industry, once looking for new acts to have my label sign, so this seems all so familiar to me. I love to try to pick out the raw talent that will go on to win. I'm usually pretty good until the final rounds when young girls everywhere screw up the chances for anyone really good to win anymore. But let's face it: this last season was lame. The judges suck, especially J-Lo who I hate for any number of reasons, and most of the good talent was eliminated earlier than usual, leaving pretty boy one and two to compete. I honestly couldn't even tell you who won this past year. That's being real forgettable and certain record death. But now my hero arrives with X-Factor, the same show that killed Pop Idol in the UK . That's right Simon Cowell rocks and I can't wait for him to rip some poor loser a new one. A sure fire hit. Be sure to watch Cheryl Cole come and go by the 2nd episode.

American Horror Story- That's right. Not even I could come up with five new shows on regular network TV . FX is one of best networks for odd, interesting dramas and this one looks like a doozy. A family moves into a haunter house and chaos ensues. That would be enough for me, but apparently the family is kind of kinky as well, into weird sex fetishes like leather gimp suits. Color me intrigued and ready to watch.

Person of Interest- The new show form JJ Abrams (who is also doing the equally exciting mid-season replacement Alcatraz with Lost's Hurley) about a Minority Report-like situation where a mathematician (Ben from Lost) has discovered a way to predict where crime will happen. Aided by wooden actor Jim Caviziel as a burnt out spy and a cop on the trail of both of them this has promise even with Caviziel in it. At least it wasn't Jason Patrick who's getting his own show later this year. Weeee.

Of the above Terra Nova is the one I am looking forward to the most and has the greatest chance of success.

And now the worst of the bunch:

The Playboy Club- This show got the gift of idiots demanding the show be taken off the air due to it's titillating nature guaranteeing huge ratings out of the gate. It is unlikely to sustain those ratings as people become bored quickly with it and find it's less sexy than a late night infomercial. Dull, dreary and doomed to fail. This is one bunny unlikely to hop to far.

Hart of Dixie- Rarely have I seen an ad campaign for a show I'd like to watch less. The acting is below the level of community theater, the plot sounds ridiculous (city doctor played by a woman too hot and young to be a doctor, goes to the country to learn about life and love,SZZZZZZZZZ. What? Oh sorry nodded off in mid sentence), and advance word is that it's as entertaining as a root canal. This one will die quick.

Law and Order:SVU- Yeah I know it's technically not a new show but they've axed Chris Meloni and added two no names to the roster instead, leaving Mariska Hargity stuck back in the office all the time. Excitement. Don't hire Ted Danson like CSI did to revive their drowning flag show (great call by the way), no save some money by hiring people no one for the most part has ever heard of. As the last surviving Law and Order show, this long time series may be coming to an unjust end.

Free Agents- This advance word on this Katherine Hahn/Hank Azaria snoozefest is that the British version was not only better but it was actually funny. This, according to everything I've read, is not the case here. Painful, atrocious and god awful are what some critics have called it. The previews don't help. Yet another British import butchered. For every Office we get, twelve Couplings file behind it. Yuck.

Almost everything on Tuesday-For the third straight year, the networks have decided Tuesday is the night to pile all the unwatchable crap that never should been okayed in the first place. Other than the dwindling NCIS (last season was not very good), there is nothing on the networks this night. So what do they do to fix last year's crop of disappointments like V, 187 and NCIS:LA? Not much. Tim Allen returns in Last Man Standing which appears to be digitally remastered versions of Home Improvement. Right after is the horrific looking Man Up about videogame playing slackers (real original there) cementing ABC's status as the worst network on TV today. I watch Modern Family. That's it. That's terrible. As is everyone's Tuesday lineup. Glee? Ick. Biggest Loser? Fat people sweating is not my idea of good TV. Netflix Tuesday's are still in effect.

The first to go: Hart of Dixie would if it wasn't on the CW which might give it a little time to get an audience but I think Free Agents will be the first to die as X Factor and Survivor are going to crucify it.

Stay tuned for who the Reaper gets first.