Saturday, November 6, 2010

Splice: Where the Ick Factor Goes Off The Charts

Some movies never should have been made. Some are obvious like remakes of Godzilla or Psycho. Others are visually fresh but overwhelming like Sky Captain or 300. And then there's movies like this where the first act sets up a promising set up and then abandons it in a series of horror movie cliches that a five year old retarded monkey would see coming.
Adrian Brody (an actor I'm rather indifferent to) stars as Clive Nicol, a scientist married/dating? (this is never explained) to the very pretty Elisa Kast (Sarah Polly), both of which have a terminal case of the stupids. They work for NERD, a scientific group contracted by a Big Pharma company to invent a new chemical. They have genetically made a new life form, called Ginger and Fred who look like big slugs, and have realized that they could add human DNA to their Frankenstein creation for better effects. Incidentally their names are references to the original Frankenstein movies and the actors in them. They of course do and give "birth" to Dren, a humanoid female with weird legs, far set eyes and a tall with a stinger. Here is where the film goes off the rails, with the characters doing the dumbest things imaginable, including having sex with the creature and a bizarre rape sequence that I wish I could unsee. Somewhere, somehow this movie went from a Frankenstein cautionary tale to an off the charts gross out and I don't mean blood and gore. Brody's character is one of the most repulsive ones I have ever seen in a movie. Why God Why would he sleep with that thing? YUCK. I needed a shower after seeing this drek. Dren is played by a french girl (Delphine Chaneac) who locks odd in real life with far set eyes, which is almost certainly why she got the part. If you want to see dumb people make stupid decisions, this is the film for you. If you're like me screaming at the screen don't go in there dummy, miss this. I wish I had.

1 star out of 5

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