Friday, November 16, 2012

THE REAPER STRIKES AGAIN: CBS' PARTNERS TAKES DIRT NAP

Not a huge shocker that CBS got rid of the struggling and quite awful sitcom Partners immediately following their last outing where they scored a lousy 1.8 in the ratings and dragging down what is an otherwise stellar night. Repeats of Two and a Half Men will replace it next week. What is more surprising is that Fox still has on Mob Doctor. That can't go on much longer, can it?

Friday, October 19, 2012

REAPER EUTHENIZES MONKEY DOCTOR AKA ANIMAL HOSPITAL.

The Reaper has struck down Animal Hospital after yet another sub par week. I liked the show myself but I love animals and the monkey was really funny and very well trained. The episode where the monkey painted on a canvas was really cool because the final picture looked pretty good for a human let alone a monkey. I thought they replaced the final piece with one done by a person but I found later the monkey likes to paint and it was all her so kudos to the monkey.

It will air it's final episode on November 14th and will be replaced by Whitney in her old time slot from last year. Community is still up for grabs so shows like Up All Night and Guys With Kids should be doubly nervous as to their fate, neither or which looks promising.

Who will the Reaper strike next? Mob Doctor and Partners I am looking your way.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

REAPER COMMITS ABORTION TO KILL WHAT'S LEFT OF DANE COOK'S CAREER

Poor Dane Cook had a bad week. First, his new show "Next Caller" was axed before ever airing. The show was about a foul mouthed Howard Stern shock jock paired with an NPR feminist. Four episodes had been shot before network executives killed it. According to reports, the show was not going in the desired direction making one of only a handful of shows to get axed before ever airing. Then, he was skewered during the opening monologue of SNL this weekend. I can't help but picture Cook sitting in front of his TV eating ice cream in his undies, trying to forget the fact that his career is dying before his eyes, when all of sudden Jason Sudekis shows up doing his less than flattering impression of the comic.

I like Dane Cook's stand up which many find grating. Comedy is subjective however and what one person finds funny, another may find it so not. I don't like Larry the Cable Guy or Mike Epps but their brand of humor isn't exactly aimed at an educated white guy from New England so I cut them some slack. The only comedian I never found funny, a person who didn't even really tell jokes, was Pauly Shore. His short lived sitcom was one of the worst shows I ever saw and am not exaggerating. His movies were terrible. Even Tom Green, another guy I don't find particularly funny, does make me laugh on very rare occasions,. However his one movie Freddie got Fingered was really, really bad. Pauly Shore bad.

Dane Cook has had a very similar career. While I found his stand up funny, his films have been pretty bad and forgettable . Employee of the Month. Yuck. Good Luck Chuck. Terrible. Answers to Nothing. Never even heard of it and the reviews are very unkind. With the cancellation of his latest attempt before even airing does not bode well for the Cookmeister's future. Some people are better at stand up than acting (cough, Chris Rock, Hack, wheeze.). Maybe Dane Cook is one of them.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

REAPER TAKES FIRST VICTIM OF FALL TV SEASON. WHO'S NEXT?

Somehow, someway, Fox's Mob Doctor was not the first to go but instead Made in Jersey, one of the lowest rated shows on TV, went first after only two episodes. As expected Undercover Boss will replace it on November 2nd. It will not be missed.

The Reaper is circling NBC on Monday's with Monkey Doctor Aka Animal Hospital, which I actually like and the worst new show of the year Guys With Kids. As both Whitney and Community have been postponed from this week's Friday debut, I expect either the two sitcoms on Wednesday will be either moved to the graveyard slot or killed outright in the coming weeks. Last night ratings were pretty dismal so either way, these two shows are toast in the the long run.

Polls suggest Mob Doctor and Animal Hospital are the two to watch out for as the Reaper readies his scythe. New show Chicago Fire has little hope as it's debut episode was meh at best, meaning most of NBC's Wednesday and Thursday shows are either dead or dying and need a major overhaul. Partners on Monday on CBS is likely to see the ax any day now and replaced by the why is this still on Rules of Engagement which has become the go to show for replacement failures.

Other than NBC though, ratings are down across the board. What this means for future programming is anyone's guess. What do you think will be the next to go?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

THE CAMPAIGN: BITING BLOODY SATIRE AT ITS BEST

Satire, specifically political satire, doesn't get done anymore and when some try they fail miserably. Winners like Wag the Dog, Bullworth, Bob Roberts, and Team America nailed the grotesqueness of the political arena while lesser films like Swing Vote. War Inc. and Mars Attacks were a big swing and a miss. Enter Will Farrell's latest comedy The Campaign, a dead on look at modern day politics that simply attacks EVERYONE. Republicans, Democrats, the media and most importantly, voters, are skewered mercilessly in a non stop orgy of laugh out loud humor.

Farrell plays four time House congressman Cam Brady, a caricature of every awful Democrat ever: horny, media savvy and clueless. He's about to run unopposed in his district when the Koch brothers, oops I mean the Motch brothers (Dan Ackroyd and John Lithgow), decide they can't control him anymore and run an effeminate but good natured local, Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis) as his GOP opponent. The end result is two candidates, one already destroyed by politics and the other slowly being devoured by it as well, in a brutal death match that is part hysterical comedy and part blueprint for everything wrong with this country.

Cam punches babies and dogs. Huggins struggles with his good nature as his devilish campaign manager, played perfectly by Dylan McDermott, drags him kicking and screaming into the below the belt nature of modern day politics. Along the way, we see pitch perfect depictions of the media molding the narrative for their own designs, of voters deciding who to vote for for the worst reasons possible, and a political race defined by big money and no ideas. Sound familiar?

The ads they run against one another are barely above what real candidates are actually running at this point. One fake ad compares Huggins to terrorists like Al Queda as both support mustaches. Michelle Bachman, along with five other brain dead Tea Party Congressman, have recently done just that to members of Congress and Hillary Clinton's staff with the same level of proof. Add to that a screenplay that has the gaul to include real facts about the state of the nation, the horror, and laughs can quickly turn to outrage as you realize you are indeed crying for both the movie being very funny and absolutely accurate in what it has to say. That is what films should be doing and rarely do anymore.

As expected, those on the right are seeing this film as an attack on them, which it is, but it also hits everyone else along the well, democrat, republican, the elites and idiot America all at the same time. The worthless rag, the NY Post, a newspaper so foul it shouldn't even be used to train puppies, ran a review from resident douchebag Kyle Smith, who makes AO Scott look like a Pulitzer Prize winner. In his blatantly partisan review he said he was shocked, SHOCKED, by the awful portrayal of the true American heroes, the Koch Brothers. he really said that in his review seen here:

http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/movies/no_saving_this_dimocracy_G0n8EMafOq9s4671VU2fCJ

I recommend anyone who actually like films to contact the NY Post and tell them in no uncertain terms that as long as they hire people like this who have NO business reviewing films that until he is gone, you will not advertise, you will not buy their rag, you will not tell anyone anything good about them until he is gone. Kyle Smith is a true asshole and I now live to see the day when I read in some better newspaper that some irate citizen threw hot soup into his eyes. I am sick to death of this kind of reviews from people being paid to watch films and not have a single reason why they should actually be doing this. There are too many people doing a job they shouldn't so as the rest of us starve to death on minimum wage, it's sickening to see some ass get his job because his daddy's runs the business or had a lot of money due to rich relatives. And yes Paul Ryan I am looking at you, you heartless bastards. More on his history and chances tomorrow. Hint: he's screwed.

This is one of the best movies of the year and a must see for all party affiliations as it tells you the absolute truth about what is really going on in politics today and in return, we get to laugh our asses off almost nonstop for the whole film. Go see it today.

5 stars out of 5

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

THE DARK NIGHT RISES: A FLAWED BUT SPECTACULAR MASTERPIECE

Normally I leave my reviews for my sister site Lost and Forgotten Films which, as of late due to time constraints, is more about reviewing films just out in theaters. But this film has many aspects which relate to today's world and while the film was far from perfect, it pluses were much more than the minuses. I will keep it spoiler free so as to not ruin the really great ending.



The movie takes place eight years after the Joker was caught and Harvey Dent aka "Two Face," is killed leaving Bruce Wayne/Batman broken in body and spirit. He has become a recluse whose fading fortune is hurting the charities he once championed. While having a party for Harvey Dent's memory, Bruce watches the gala from afar as Selina Kyle/Catwoman (Anne Hathaway looking spectacular in tight leather) makes off with a valuable heirloom from the Wayne Estate.





Meanwhile, Bane (A humongous Tom Hardy) is busy escaping from a CIA controlled jet with Dr. Pavel, a Russian scientist Bane needs, crashing the plane in the process in a thrilling sequence that sadly would not be replicated for most of the film.




The first act establishes the characters we know like Morgan Freeman's Lucious Fox, Michael Caine as Alfred and Gary Oldman as Commissioner Gordon. New ones like good cop Blake ( A magnetic Joseph Gordon Levitt which is good because I swear he's in the movie more than Batman), new CEO of Wayne Enterprises Miranda (Marion Cotillard of Inception as well. It's like half the cast was in this), and dick cop Foley played in a welcome return by Mathew Modine, whose career was killed by Cutthroat Island.



Batman is forced out of retirement after Bane steals all his money after a daring Wall Street heist and holds the city hostage with a giant nuke. Batman gets the crap beat out of him by Bane at one point, echoing the famous scene in the comics of Bane breaking Batman's back and throwing him into a prison half way round the world. This has been the problem with some of the haters out there but I had little issue with actually. The passage of time in this movie is handled rather poorly and can be confusing to some people who can't follow a non-continuous time line, which the film isn't. It's not Memento, Chris Nolan's first movie, or anything like that, but time does skip around for weeks at a time with no mention of it.



The main problems from the film involve a really SLOW middle act which should have been trimmed or tightened a little. Characters that are supposed to be of huge importance probably should have been introduced in previous films to establish some better character arcs. New and very important characters like Miranda, Catwoman and Blake should have been around at some point since the first film and not introduced in the last act of a trilogy. It would be like not having Gandalf in Lord of the Rings until the last film. It doesn't work.

The other problem I had were the rather lame fight sequences. Fight scenes are my favorite part of just about any film, especially super hero films, and here they had all the impact of a being hit with a wet sponge. I don't know who the fight co-oridinator was in this movie but he sucked. Batman and Bane duke it out with no good martial arts or even a batwing or two. Just punches and let me tell you that gets boring after a while. The resolution of Bane's character is kind of lame too with a terrible death scene and a questionable story arc revealed late in the film.



However, the slights aside, the film is a written masterpiece of subversive story telling. Chris Nolan can say what we wants about this not being a political film but it is anything but. The news may have actually hit upon something, although not in the conspiracy way that Fox would suggest. Bane IS a representative of the Tea Party Movement and even Occupy Wall Street to a certain extent. He is a populist figure using his power to get the underdogs to rise up with him and take over the city from the rich elites. The only problem is, he's just using the people for his own nefarious purposes and will eliminate millions of them without a second thought, a plan he actively tries in the film.



We have heard the movie used Bane as a reference to Mitt Romney and his Bain Capital ties. The funny thing, while I believe the Bane/Bain reference is entirely coincidental, the fact remains that Bane IS MITT ROMNEY. Mitt is trying to get people to vote against one's self interests so he can step in and slaughter the rest of us. We keep hearing that Mitt is a man of the people and he's looking out for the underdog. But he has no policy ideas that have been mentioned so far that will work and if things like the Paul Ryan Budget plan are ever enacted, society will collapse as we know it. That is not hyperbole or exaggeration, if that plan is ever enacted in it's entirety the country will spin out of control. If starvation, disease and poverty are what you want for you and your kids by all means vote for ANY GOP candidate come November. Just remember if you do that you will be voting for this man.



The film is a great piece of screenwriting with a few glaring problems. In no way is it better than The Avengers but few films this year will be.

4 stars out of 5

Monday, July 9, 2012

TED: FOUL MOUTHED, FILTHY AND FUNNY



Anybody who knows me, also knows Lemar. He is just like Ted in the fact that he is a foul mouthed, slightly racist, stuffed animal. My girlfriend and I carry him everywhere and have pictures of him from everywhere like Independence Hall to the Cayman Islands. Plus, he is a huge hit at parties where his Red Sox Jersey gets lots of laughs. If he ever came to life, he would be Ted.

This is easily one of the funniest movies of the year and a must see for anybody who likes Family Guy, one of my favorite shows. If gross out humor and drug use are not funny to you, don't bother. The rest, go see it today.

Mark Wahlberg is proving to be an ace at comedy with this and the Other Guys under his belt. Here he plays John, a man child trying to live with his dead end job, super hot girlfriend (Mila Kunis) and his living teddy bear, voiced by Seth McFarlane as Peter Griffith with a Boston accent. Ted shouting the word HARDER with his Boston twang is worth the price of admission alone.

John wants to grow up but his foul mouthed teddy bear keeps dragging him back into a world of drugs, hookers and generally bad behavior. The odd part is that Ted is actually a good guy, who is making mistakes anyone could make, and John is just too weak a person to say no. There is a lot of heart in this film, more than you would expect and John's girlfriend, Lori, is actually the smartest of the bunch rather than the heartless shrew many rom coms have women portrayed these days. Pretty much any film with J-Lo, Kate Hudson or Katherine Heigel falls into that category and considering the plunge in people paying to see these pieces of crap, maybe Hollywood should get the message and law off on these types of films for a while.

This is a great film and, as the box office will attest, people really want to see it. Fox, which had first crack at this, passed for some inane reason. When Universal is making wise decisions about films, the world has officially become topsy turvy.

There are some great cameos which I won't ruin here and the creepiest dance ever by Giovanni Ribisi that has to be seen to be believed. Think Silence of the Lambs' Buffalo Bill dance without the nudity and you'll get the idea.

Go see this film as a funnier picture will be hard to come by for the rest of the year.

4 and half stars of out five

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

PROMETHEUS: SCI FI GREATNESS HAMPERED BY HATERS WHO CAN'T THINK FOR THEMSELVES

Sci-fi is a rarity at the movies these days. I'm not talking about Star Trek, Star Wars or countless other clones just like them. I'm referring to the hard core sci-fi movies like 2001, Soylent Green, and others that demand not only you pay attention but that you think about what you saw afterward. And it is in this category that Prometheus soars above a lot of other terrible films this year.

I will keep this article spoiler free as this movie is one that you should experience for yourself and the issues that arise from it. It is an Alien prequel in many ways and we will leave it at that.

Eighty years from now, two archaeologists, the radiant Noomi Rapace as Elizabeth Shaw and her husband Charlie (Logan Marshall Green) find evidence of a star map from various unconnected, ancient civilizations. They convince the Weyland Corporation to fund their expedition and head out into space for a long trip. While asleep, David (Michael Fassbender) the android runs the ship, plays basketball, watches "Lawrence of Arabia" and steals dreams from the sleeping passengers.

Once at the new planet, Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron) plays the power card that this expedition is under her command as her company is one the funded everything which does not go over well with the two scientists. A bevy of other scientists and soldiers are red shirt meat for what is down there on the new planet, a fact that is obvious from frame one. You know almost everyone on the ship is alien food at some point so no spoiler there.

Once there, they find a dead race of Engineers, the makers of our race. They all appear dead by some internal explosion that ripped them open. What happened to them is again obvious to anyone who has seen any Alien movie in the past. What follows are questions about God, creationism and the nature of man.

Many are pissed that the film doesn't spell out everything for you, including an intentionally vague ending. But it is these questions that will make you think about them on the ride home and beyond. This is hardcore sci-fi, the first in this series. Alien one was a horror movie, the second an action ride, the third an esoteric look at the stages of death and the fourth an abject disaster. This is sci-fi at it's best and something that is very rare in theaters today. If you like movies that will make you think, this is a doozy. Mind you, some of the characters do incredibly stupid things on occasion but that's usually par for the course in these movies. I highly recommend it regardless.

four stars out of 5

Friday, June 1, 2012

MEN IN BLACK 3: GOOD FILM BUT FALLS TO AVENGER EFFECT

The Avengers will be remembered for two reasons this year. One, the amount of money this behemoth has made and two, how bad it made every other movie look like. Bombs like Battleship, John Carter, Dark Shadows, What to Expect When You're Expecting, the Chernobyl Diaries and, I'm willing to bet, Snow White all suffer from terrible screenplays. The days of studio interference may finally come to an end after this nonstop string of losers. Box office is way down as people have seen the Avengers, gone to another film after and said, loud and clear, "Wow. That sucked moose balls." And then told all their friends that going to see the Avengers again was far better than sitting through drek like Battleship which seemed more like a way to sell toys rather than make a movie.

Unfortunately, even good movies have now been hurt by this trend as people have about had it with spending lots of money to watch utter crap and probably figured that a sequel to a film ten years old would suck. It did not. As a matter of face, it was actually quite good.

Will Smith returns as J along with surly partner K (Tommy Lee Jones). After Boris the Animal, an effective but weakly written villain, escapes from a lunar Super Max, he vows revenge on K, the man who put him there. Going back in time, he kills K and changes the future. J has to go back to 1969 to stop it from happening. K morphs into Josh Brolin who nails his impersonation of Jones to a T. The film flies high in 1969 with a great script, funny scenes, good action and a tremendous ending that helps make sense of the previous two pictures.

The one problem with this film had nothing to do with what was one screen but the price tag to put it there. It was $300 million before advertising meaning this film will have to gross at least $450 million before a dime of profit will be seen. Good luck with that. As the opening weekend wasn't anywhere near the $100 million they were hoping for, and world box office not nearly what they wanted either, this movie will most likely lose money, despite the fact it was actually quite good.

Is it as good as the Avengers? No, not even close. But no film this year will be, except maybe a few hopefuls like the Hobbit, Skyfall and the Dark Knight Rises. And that fact will make a lot of films released this summer fail in comparison because they weren't well written in the first place and without a good screenplay, you have nothing. We have at least three straight years now of substandard movies and Hollywood still hasn't gotten the notion that we would rather have quality than quantity. At least Men in Black 3 was fun, memorable and one of the better films this summer. Considering the crap out there right now, it's this or the Avengers, and wouldn't you rather see something new rather than that for the fifth time? The box office is telling me no, you wouldn't.

Men in Black 3
3 and a half stars out of five.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

REAPER GOES POSTAL: DOZENS OF SHOWS AXED

In what can only be described as a bloodbath, the networks made their decisions to cut many low performing shows from their ranks, only a few of which I watched at all. The Reaper was busy this week feasting on  some terrible shows that really should have been killed weeks ago.

NBC
"Grimm," "Law and Order: SVU," "The Office," "Parenthood," "Parks and Recreation," "Smash," "Up All Night" and "Whitney" have all been renewed for full seasons.

I know some of you are out there saying "Whitney, why, God, why?" However, I found the show very funny and am glad it is returning.

"30 Rock" is scoring a 13-episode final season, "Community" will get a 13-episode fourth season.

Awesome news there. I love those shows and am glad to see them get one more season.

Cancellations include "Are You There Chelsea?," "Awake," "Bent," "Best Friends Forever," "Free Agents," "The Firm," "Harry's Law" and "Prime Suspect".

Other than Awake, which was better than many said, the rest was worthless drek.


ABC
Full season renewals have been approved for "Body of Proof," "Castle," "Don’t Trust The B—- In Apt. 23," "Grey's Anatomy," "Happy Endings," "Last Man Standing," "The Middle," "Modern Family," "Once Upon a Time," "Revenge" and "Scandal".

No surprises here.

"Private Practice" has been renewed for what's likely a final 13 episode season. "Cougar Town" has been cancelled on ABC but the deal with cable channel TBS is done so it will find its new home there.

Cancellations include "Charlie's Angels," "GCB," "Man Up," "Missing," "Pan Am," "The River" and "Work It". "Desperate Housewives" finished this season.

Work It wasn't as bad as people said, while the rest, especially the awful The River, comes as no surprise. Missing had no way to work the plot past one season, GCB had no demographic to target and Pan Am was Mad Men in flight.

FOX
Full season renewals include "American Dad," "Bones," "The Cleveland Show," "Family Guy," "Glee," "New Girl," "Raising Hope," "The Simpsons," and "Touch".
 
Nothing terrible here, except maybe Glee, but I am hardly the target audience.

"Fringe" has scored a renewal for a 13-episode final season.

WOO HOO!

Cancellations include "Alcatraz," "Allen Gregory," "Breaking In," "The Finder," "I Hate My Teenage Daughter" and "Terra Nova". "House" finished this season.

AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW! I liked Alcatraz and the Finder. Breaking In and Terra Nova were meh. Allen Gregory sucked.

The fates of "Bob's Burgers" and "Napoleon Dynamite" are still to be determined.

Come on Reaper.

The CW
Full season renewals for "90210," "Hart of Dixie," "Nikita," "Supernatural," "Vampire Diaries".
"Gossip Girl" has been renewed for an 11-episode final season.

I am glad Supernatural will be back and am stunned that low rated Nikita, which I stopped watching after it just became silly, will return.

Cancellations include "The L.A. Complex," "Ringer," and "The Secret Circle". "One Tree Hill" finished this season.

Ringer was one of the worst new shows out there. It will not be missed.

CBS
Full season renewals for "2 Broke Girls," "The Big Bang Theory," "Blue Bloods," "Criminal Minds,"
"CSI," "The Good Wife," "Hawaii Five-0," "How I Met Your Mother," "The Mentalist," "Mike & Molly," "NCIS," "NCIS: Los Angeles," "Person Of Interest" and "Two and a Half Men".

No shockers here.

Cancellations include "A Gifted Man," "How To Be A Gentleman," "NYC 22".

A Gifted Man got half the ratings of The Ghost Whisperer, Gentleman was pulled after two episodes and NYC 22 sucked.

Still to be determined are "CSI: Miami," "CSI:NY," "Rob," "Rules of Engagement," "Unforgettable.

Reaper. Reaper. Reaper.

So there you have it. I will be reviewing some of the new shows one the fall schedule next week when they are officially announced.

Watch for the Reaper to kill a lot of them by episode three.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

GRIM REAPER TAKES THREE FRESHMAN SHOWS: LET THE CARNAGE BEGIN

Next week, the networks will announce their official fall schedules. NBC has already picked up five shows and FOX with three. More on those next week as we look at surefire hits and misses. The most surprising pick up is the near unwatchable Law and Order: SVU that went way down hill after the departure of Chris Meloni. The ratings for it were quite bad so I have no idea why they would continue airing what is, for all tense and purpose, a sinking ship. But NBC has been a conundrum for years, albeit some of their new shows show promise.

But in order to make room for the new shows to air, some dead weight has to go. FOX has announced today that three programs I watched have been 86ed. Alcatraz, the Finder and Breaking In are all gone, pushing up the daisies. I really liked The Finder, as it was a funny, interesting show starring the always watchable Michael Clark Duncan. Alcatraz was quite good as well put never found its footing. Breaking In was cancelled, brought back for some unknown reason, revamped and now cancelled again. That one does not surprise me at all.

So the Grim Reaper circles, hungry for more shows to fill his unholy army. I hear the Charlie's Angels remake and The Playboy Club really upped his stats. Stay tuned for more on the Fall Season and more reaping for the taking.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

THE AVENGERS: AO SCOTT IS A DOUCHEBAG

Every once in a blue moon comes a movie out that changes the landscape and all movies that follow. The last one was Avatar that simultaneously showed how awesome 3D could be while setting the stage for a studio push to release even the crappiest movie in substandard 3D as a way of jacking up prices by four dollars. Win some, lose some on that.

But now comes the Avengers which is, without a doubt, the best superhero movie ever made. It is pitch perfect, never dull and flies by with a two and half hour running time. The story is both simple and complex. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, The Hulk and Hawkeye team up to stop Loki and a Kree-like race from destroying the Earth. They fight, they love, they beat the crap out of the bad guys. It will almost certainly be my favorite movie of 2012.

The biggest surprise is how much people LOVE the Hulk in this movie, considering the last two films bombed box office wise, even though the second one was quite good. But writer/director Joss Whedon nails the Hulk to make him the best superhero in the entire movie. His scenes are a marvel, pun intended, to watch. His fight with Loki may be my favorite battle in any superhero movie ever. I have never laughed so hard at a non-comedy as I did during this film. This film is tense, funny and makes me wonder what executive at Disney should be getting a BIG raise for getting Whedon to direct. This is only his second film, behind the way underrated Serenity, which does you make you question the reason why every studio hasn't been trying to land this genius for the fifteen plus years he has been in the business. Imagine how much money you could made schmucks.

Scarlett Johannson is terrific as the damaged Black Widow, Robert Downer Jr plays Tony Stark to a T and Mark Ruffalo nails the Hulk in his first outing as the green skin titan. There are no bad performances in this film, not one minute that is dull or pointless, and has one of the best climatic fight scenes in recent history.

This film is Star Wars. This film is Raiders of the Lost Ark. And NYT reporter AO Scott hated it.

Samuel Jackson has called on his firing for the review and, while I would normally say movies are subjective, this isn't one of them. If you are a professional film reviewer, you should appreciate all types of cinema. Pissing on this one shows a total lack of understanding of even basic film principles and was one of the reasons his time of At The Movies was short lived. He was TERRIBLE at film reviews. He got his start as book reviewer and somehow moved to film. Someone move him back there because he doesn't what he is doing. If the NYT needs someone new, I am available.

Go see this film today. And tomorrow. And next week. It's that good.

five stars out of five. I wish I could give it more.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

CABIN IN THE WOODS: A GREAT HORROR MOVIE FOR PEOPLE WHO LOVE HORROR MOVIES

Cabin in the Woods is a fantastic horror movie that sat on a shelf for three, long years when MGM went bankrupt. As a result it languished in a semi-forgotten state kept alive only by people like myself who knew about it and have waited patiently for it's release. After a thankfully dead option of post conversion 3-D, it has come to the theaters on Friday the 13th no less and has lived up to every expectation an avid film goer could have.

Written by fanboy demigod Joss Whedon, who also has the highly anticipated Avengers movie coming out in a few weeks, and directed by long time TV director Drew Goddard, this film monster mash up is thrilling, funny and scary, sometimes all at the same time.

The film has the typical set up. Five, somewhat stereotypical archetypes, gather together for a vacation to a cabin in the woods. We have Dana (Kristen Connelly), the "virgin," Curt (Chris Helmsworth), the jock, Marty (Fran Kranz), the stoner, Jules (Anna Hutchinson), the "whore," and Holden (Jesse Williams), the egghead all on their way to an evil dead like cabin in the middle of nowhere.

Once there, in true evil dead fashion, they accidentally raise a family of inbred zombies who proceed to kill them off one by one. That in and of itself would hardly make a great movie as we've seen it a thousand times before. What the kids don't know is that the whole operation is being monitored by a some sort of government operation who have manipulated the entire situation for some unknown reason. And that is where it gets really interesting.

It would be heresy to spell more than that without destroying the picture, but know that Bradford Whitley and Richard Jenkins, as two of the government workers overseeing the project, provide some much needed humor to an otherwise dark film and add an extra layer of WTF is going on. Safe to say, no one will see the ending coming which is not the typical cookie cutter ending seen in almost every major picture nowadays. No this one has giant brass balls which will haunt you on the ride home.

This is a must see for horror fans. Go see it today

4 stars out of 5

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

REAPER CIRCLES AS SHOWS REACH TERMINATION DATE

It must be spring as the Grim Reaper is hovering over many an underperforming show. Let's see who might be getting the axe soon.

ABC

MISSING- Ashley Judd in a terrible show? Shocker. This huge misfire is not likely to see another season as the ratings have been just awful. Insiders say it is a toss up whether or not it will be renewed but the ratings and cost make it seem like a long shot. When will people realize this woman can't act?

GCB- Ratings for this show have been average but with a real challenge over who to market this mess to, renewal seems iffy.

BODY OF PROOF- As good as dead. This show has the Reaper standing right over it.

THE RIVER- Another dead man walking. I gave up on it after the second episode.  There was no reason they wouldn't just go home like any reasonable person would.

NBC-

FASHION STAR- This Project Runway clone is DOA. Not likely to return.

ARE YOU THERE CHELSEA?- If there is a God, this waste of space will be the first to go. Not funny.

THE FIRM- Cancelled just doesn't know it yet.

HARRY'S LAW- Another low rated show that should have been cancelled months ago. It's gone next year.

FOX

I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER- It's been pulled due to low ratings and is for all tense and purpose cancelled. The final episodes will burn off sometime this summer.

CBS

UNFORGETTABLE- Apparently it is as no watches it. Not likely to survive just like every series not on cable on Tuesday's at ten

CSI NY/ MIAMI- One or both of these long running series won't see next year with the NY spinoff most likely to get the ax.

ROB-Painfully unfunny. Gave it a few episodes but it's the typical sitcom where all the men are stupid and all the women know everything. Awful.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT- How is this show still on? This may be the year where it finally is put to rest.

CW

They should just cancel everything not called Supernatural, Vampire Diaries or America's Next Top Model and start again.

Most shocking shows not cancelled- FRINGE, COMMUNITY, GOSSIP GIRL. All are expected to be renewed. That makes me happy as I love Fringe and Community.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

GWTDT, MUPPETS AND OTHER SOLID RELEASES

Today sees the release of the excellent remake of Girl With Dragon Tatoo, the Muppets, Bionic Woman Season 3 and Nude Nuns with Big Guns, which could be my favorite title of the year. The Muppets was my favorite movie from last year and very shortly I plan on using my gift card from Walmart to go buy it. But let's review some other titles that have come out recently.

Tintin- Great animation but a poor story. It's very frantic and overstuffed with little character exposition as to who anyone is. Europeans will love the movie as they know who Tintin and his cohorts are already and need no back story but for newbies like me, I found the plot overly convoluted and had no idea who anybody was or their motivations. I'd give it a solid C for effort but found little to actually like about it.

Tower Heist- Better than just about any reviewer said it was. I just don't get all the Brett Ratner hate. Eddie Murphy was actually funny for once and Norbit style ruined all of it with the dreadful looking A Thousand Words as a follow up. What happened to this once funny genius? But in this film he's hysterical, Ben Stiller rocks as always and the supporting cast is diverse and well used. A great heist movie that is basically Ocean's 11 with the help.

The Thing- A prequel rather than another unnecessary remake, this works in stops and fits. The directing and FX are excellent. The story not so much. Huge logic problems like the alien doing things that are totally against its survivalist nature and the fact that if the danged spaceship still worked, why didn't one of the clones take off in it days ago? At least it had the ending that tied into  1982's The Thing by John Carpenter.

Paranormal Activity 3-Easily the worst of the bunch, this is yet another prequel. How about advancing the story next time or are going to watch as the two young girls are conceived in some black mass ritual? Wait that might work in a porno kind of way. Nothing happens for far too long, the back story is getting more and more muddled and you completely ignore the big fire that was supposed to have happened in the kids childhood. This which would have been much better explained as to what happened to the tapes than a break in. Pretty terrible.

GWTDT-Excellent remake of the Swedish original. Rooney Mara knocks it out the park as Lisbeth Sanders a hard feat from the Noomi Rapace performance that was so riveting. Should have been up for best picture over some of the weaker entries like Extremely Loud and Incredibly Boring. A must see even if you know the plot already.

Muppets- A must see film for young and old alike. Jason Segal is fantastic as the guy with a muppet brother who together set out to save the old muppet theater from destruction. Cameos galore, fun music and nostalgia factors make this my favorite movie from last year. Your kids will love it.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

LOOK AT THE OSCAR NODS AND PREDICTIONS

Let's take a quick look at the Oscar nods:

Best Picture
"The Artist"
"The Descendants"
"Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close"
"Hugo"
"Midnight in Paris"
"The Help"
"Moneyball"
"War Horse"
"The Tree of Life"

Should win-The Artist
Will Win-The Artist

A silent picture in today's age is something to see and admire. Why Incredibly Loud is in there is anybody's guess but I'm thinking blackmail because that movie sucked and sucked hard making it this year's Winter's Bone, a film I don't know anyone who liked it. I have not seen Hugo or War Horse yet but I hear both are excellent, especially Hugo which had the misfortune to come out the same weekend as the Muppets, which should be on that list along with the last Harry Potter. Moneyball was great but not an Oscar nominee for Best Picture. Likewise with the brilliant but flawed Tree of Life which should be up for best directing, but let's face facts: it was pretentious, especially the last incomprehensible ten minutes. No film that isn't perfect should be up for Best Picture. Was this honestly better than Harry Potter, the Muppets, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and, Bridesmaids? No. And it is this disconnect between the nominees and films people actually watch that is killing both the awards and the film industry.

Best Actor
Demian Bichir, "A Better Life"
George Clooney, "The Descendants"
Jean Dujardin, "The Artist"
Gary Oldman, "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy"
Brad Pitt, "Moneyball"

Should win-George Clooney
Will win-Jean Dujardin

At a lose to explain why Michael Fassbender is not on the list. And who the hell is Demian Bichir? By the way, the movie "A Better Life", about Mexican immigrants died in the box office. Shocker. Ryan Gosling was another snub for a great year of brilliant performances like Drive and Ides of March.

Best Actress
Glenn Close, "Albert Nobbs"
Viola Davis, "The Help"
Rooney Mara, "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"
Meryl Streep, "The Iron Lady"
Michelle Williams, "My Week With Marilyn."

Should win-Rooney Mara
Will Win-Viola Davis

Mara was brilliant in Tattoo and Streep will suffer another loss for doing a great performance in a so so movie. Viola Davis will sneak by as a result just like the SAG awards. Wiig was robbed in this category for Bridesmaids, but I have to admit this was tough competition.

Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh, "My Week With Marilyn"
Jonah Hill, "Moneyball"
Nick Nolte, "Warrior"
Christopher Plummer, "Beginners"
Max Von Sydow, "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close"

Should win-Christopher Plummer
Will win- Christopher Plummer

Why the hell is Nick Nolte on the is list for the sub par Warrior and Albert Brooks not for "Drive." Stupid Academy. Very leery about Von Sydow's silent performance getting an Oscar nod as well. Where the hell is Alan Rickman for Harry Potter for God's sake?

Best Supporting Actress
Berenice Bejo, "The Artist"
Jessica Chastain, "The Help"
Melissa McCarthy, "Bridesmaids"
Janet McTeer, "Albert Nobbs"
Octavia Spencer, "The Help"

Should win-Melissa McCarthy
Will win-Octavia Spencer

She was really good in the Help but I loved McCarty's fearless role in Bridesmaids.

Best Director
Woody Allen, "Midnight in Paris"
Michel Hazanavicius, "The Artist"
Terrence Malick, "The Tree of Life"
Alexander Payne, "The Descendants"
Martin Scorsese, "Hugo"

Should win-The Tree of Life
Will win-Hugo

Hard to beat the greatest director alive today and I think Scorsese will win big in this award, splitting from best picture win The Artist. Tree of Life may have been flawed but it was the best directed movie I saw all year.

Best Original Screenplay
Woody Allen, "Midnight in Paris"
JC Chandor, "Margin Call"
Asghar Farhadi, "A Separation"
Michel Hazanavicius, "The Artist"
Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo, "Bridesmaids"

Should win-Woody Allen
Will win-The Artist

Midnight in Paris was one of the best movies I saw all year and Woody Allen's best movie in decades. But I have a feeling the Artist is going to get a lot of love at the Oscars. I can also hope for Bridesmaids in an upset.

Best Adapted Screenplay
Alexander Payne, Nat Faxton, Jim Rash, "The Descendants"
John Logan, "Hugo"
George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon, "The Ides of March"
Aaron Sorkin, Steven Zaillian, "Moneyball"
Bridget O'Connor, Peter Straughn, "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy."

Should win-the Descendants
Will win-the Descendenats

Great movie, great screenplay. Hugo is only possible upset in this category. Plus we'll get to see the Dean from community win an Oscar if the Descendants pull it out.

Best Animated Feature
"A Cat In Paris"
"Chico & Rita"
"Kung Fu Panda 2"
"Puss in Boots"
"Rango"

Should win- Don't care but I'll say Puss In Boots.
Will win-Puss in Boots

Only saw two of these nominees, Kung Fu Panda and Rango, and thought both were okay. Snubbed were Tintin and Winnie the Poo. Don't really care who wins this and have nothing to go on but gut feeling.

Tune in later and see how I did in my Predictions.

Friday, January 20, 2012

BEST AND WORST OF 2011

BEST AND WORST TV OF 2011

TV for the most part has been a downhill slide these past few years. Every combination of doctor/lawyer/doctor show has been tried and ninety nine percent of them sucked. Let's take a look back and see who fared best and who failed miserably. I will note that only one new show on this list was on broadcast television.

BEST NEW SHOWS OF 2011

5)HOMELAND-The vets of 24 come up with another stellar show about a is he/isn't he terrorist war hero who after eight years as a POW comes home to a wife who thought he was dead, kids who hardly remember him and a near psychotic CIA agent hounding him (and sleeping with him) well played by Claire Daines. A thrill ride that takes lots of twists and turns. Best drama of the year.

4)Wilfred- A underated show about a guy and his next door neighbor's talking dog. Uproariously funny and had the single best ending to any show this year. A must see for any who like oddball comedy.

3)2 Broke Girls- Whitney Cummings has had a great year with this and the better than everyone says Whitney. The boobtastic Kat Dennings and newcomer Beth Behrs are fantastic together and show how a lot of us actually live, paycheck to paycheck, with multiple jobs to make ends meet. And making it funny and relatable while doing so. One of the bets new comedies of the year and the only new show on broadcast TV to make this list. Shocker.

2)Beavis and Butthead- Not only can I not believe that a show off the air for decades could be this funny but that it's Beavis and Butthead being this funny. I hated the film which cut out the best parts of them ragging on godawful videos which is back in full force, including a nightly dig at Jersey Shore, one of the worst shows ever made. I love this show.

1)BBC's Sherlock Holmes- One of the best Sherlock Holmes adaptations ever. Benedict Cumberbatch was brilliant as Holmes while Martin Freeman held his own as Dr. Watson. A must see for any fan of Holmes as well as anyone interested in how to craft a great mystery. The success of this has led to the states trying their hand at it as well for next year. My guess is they screw it up royally but I'm still hoping it won't.


WORST OF 2011-

5)Law and Order SVU- Alright while technically not a new show they did get new cast members to save what can only be described as a sinking ship. And they put lead weights on to help. Without Stabler, the dynamic of this show is out of whack and the two new leads are deadly dull. I stopped watching along with most of their viewers. The fact that it's being pulled for sweeps says this long running franchise may finally be dead.

4)Heart of Dixie- A slapdash soap on the increasingly irritating CW network who seem determined to become the Lifetime network. Even Nikita has lost it's luster and Supernatural the only show I look forward to on the network. This show was awful in every way a show can suck. I feel bad for any guy whose girlfriend forces them to watch this drek.

3)Charlie's Angels- A sad remake that replaced jiggle TV with a serious drama about three ninety pound weaklings who beat the crap out of guys twice the size with nary a bruise. Right. Helpful hint when casting a show like this: make sure the women you hire are hot. Acting skills are not a prerequisite for stuff like this. Another failure in a long line of remake failures. Next year's awful award will almost certainly go to the serious remake of The Munsters. Christ.

2)Ringer- Just missing the top spot this was the worst produced show I have ever seen on a major network. The twin sequences were the worst directed scenes ever in the last fifty years. I watched the old 1970'd Bionic Woman episodes lately which had two Jamie Summers in it and let me tell you, with a budget a fraction of what Ringer's was, they did a much better job. The Ringer scene which gets worst moment in TV last year was on a boat, next to an obvious green screen where Gellar spouted nonsense dialogue to the back of her head played by an obviously different actress. Horrid.

1)Playboy Club- How do you make TV even less titillating than Charlie's Angels? Make a show set in the 60's about a male oriented organization and turn it in a languid soap than men will hate. The result is cancellation in two weeks. A tone deaf show set in a time period that worked well in cable but in primetime. This and the soon departed Pan Am will end this sorry trend.


On a side note, one of the worst movies from last year and should be added to my list is Bucky Larson. A terrible unfunny comedy. Adam Sandler should be ashamed for writing it. As a fan of his previous work, he starting to lose his touch because almost everything he did last year was awful. Try to do something else Adam because I know you are capable of better. This stuff lately is just lazy.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

REAPER KILLS AGAIN. NBC ON PERMANENT DEATH WATCH

The Reaper has struck again, killing off the low rated Work It. As someone who watched the first episode (the second was preempted by NH primary coverage) it wasn't nearly as bad as the Chelsea Handler sitcom which was near unwatchable. The Firm and the Finder are also on shaky ground.

NBC's mid season replacements look poor at best. Not a good start for a failing network.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

TOP FILMS OF 2011

As the world nears it's end, let's look back at some films that helped us forget, for at least a little while, how bad things really are.

10)Mission Impossible:Ghost Protocol- Tom Cruise is back in a big way with the best action movie of the year. Well paced, globe trotting fun as Cruise's Ethan Hunt gets diavowed after the Kremlin goes boom. Accompanied by the uber hot Paula Patton, red hot Jeremy Renner, and uber funny Simon Pegg, this film soars, literally during a sequence on the world tallest building. A must see on IMAX if possible.

9)Harry Potter 7- This book and film series keeps getting better and better, especially as all the actors have grown tremendously into fine thespians. A non stop action thrill ride, this movie delivers the final showdown between Harry and Voldemort to a T. While the first two in the series are the most uneven, and the fifth almost unwatchable, this is the Harry Potter movie for everyone.

8)Paul-Simon Pegg and Nick Frost return in this funny sendup of sci fi films. Literally funny from the minute the movie starts, the was the best comedy of the year for laughs. After the two arrive at the San Diego Comic Con, they decided to rent a RV and see sci fi sites across America. At Roswell, they find Paul (voiced by Seth Rogan and making us forget how bad Green Hornet was) an alien on the run from the government that has been holding him hostage for years. What happens next is a terrific road movie as they pick up a bible-thumping creationist (Kristen Wiig having a stellar year), her protective father in chase, as well as the feds. Uproarious fun.

7)Tucker And Dale Fight Evil- A terrific sendup of slasher films. Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk play the accidentally frightful hillbillies who convince a group of college students they are homicidal maniacs, when in reality they are nothing of the sort. Labine has never been better and Tudyk is his usual solid self. A unique movie in a year of sequels.

6)The Perfect Host-One of my favorites of the year is the tour de force by David Hyde Pierce which is exactly the sort of movie Oscars are made for. Yet no one has recognized how brilliant this film is. A thief breaks into Pierce's house and takes him hostage. What he doesn't realize is that Pierce is a dangerous maniac who quickly turns the table on his unsuspecting prey. What follows is less Hostel than Gene Kelly, as the insane host plays up a party only he can see in his head. And when it's over, so is the thief. The movie has twists and turns you'll never see coming. Quite simply one of the best of the year.

5)The Descendants- Another brilliant film by the reliable Alexander Payne, sorely missed since Sideways. George Clooney may hit Oscar gold with this film playing a father of two, whose wife is in a coma. Once he finds she had been having an affair, he becomes determined to track down her lover and confront him. What follows is touching, funny and sad. Shailene Woodley will hopefully be nominated for her great performance as Clooney's daughter. She is a force to be reckoned with in coming years.

4)Crazy, Stupid, Love-I never expected to like this movie as much as I did. Steve Carell, an actor I had grown somewhat tired of lately, proves me wrong with the great performance as a man divorcing his wife of twenty years as everyone around him spirals out of control in love, unrequited or not. Ryan Goslin is having a great year with this and Drive (which I hear is excellent) as the Lothario teaching Carell how to pick up women. This is not a typical chick flick, so get it today guys. You'll love it.

3)Contagion- The film that will have you forever looking at a bar room bowl of peanuts in a whole new way, this was the best horror movie of the year. A flu pandemic sweeps the world, killing thirty percent of all infected. That may not seem like a high number until you remember there are seven billion people on the planet and thirty percent of even half that is a lot of dead people. Stand out performances and a taut script.

2)Bridesmaids- Kristan Wiig should get an Oscar nod for this fantastic comedy. Wiig plays a girl determined to stay unhappy as she chases everyone close away from her, in the funniest ways possible. John Hamm in awesome as her f$%kbuddy who treats her as such, as well as Mellisa McCarthy as the fearless bridesmaid, who is almost certainly Oscar bound.


And the best film is....................................................

1)Muppets- No film made me as happy this year as this did. Jason Segal knocks it out the park with this awesome film that brings back the muppets after decades gone, with the cast trying to save their old theater form destruction. Great cameos, great music, fun for the whole family.


Honorable mentions- Hugo, Harold and Kumar Christmas 3D, Super 8, Moneyball, Tree of Life, The Artist, The Help, Thor, Drive Angry, the Adjustment Bureau, Limitless, Lincoln Lawyer, Tower Heist, Sherlock Holmes, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Must misses- The Debt (horrific), Dream House

Monday, January 2, 2012

WORST FILMS OF 2011

Will be doing my Best Of column next week after seeing a few more films such as Cowboys and Aliens, Hangover 2, The Debt and Mission Impossible. But as we are all aware, films this year sucked and sucked hard. I think the quality was slightly better than 2010's slate of utter garbage, but this year fell into the damaged mindset that all we want to see are superhero flicks, remakes and sequels. The best films I saw this past year were almost all original pictures, albeit remakes like Girl With The Dragon Tattoo rivaled the original, perhaps even surpassing it. The good news is that next year looks to be a banner year for films and hopefully I will see less drek than I have been. Some of these films may be from 2010 but are here as I saw them not as they were released.


10)GREEN LANTERN- Easily the worst superhero film this year, it rightfully tanked at the box office. Ryan Reynolds had a bad year with this and the average Change Up. The film looked washed out, in desperate need of a script makeover, and a whole new ending, Hal Jordan spent way to much time on Earth and not enough time learning how to use his powers. Plus, he was an insufferable twit. The producers are still saying a sequel is in the works but I can dream that it is all a cruel hoax.

9/8)JACK AND JILL/JUST GO WITH IT-I like Adam Sandler movies. I own quite a few of them as a matter of fact and usually disagree with the haters about them being funny or not. These films on the other hand were terrible. Jack and Jill just seemed lazy and date, Just With it had Jennifer Aniston in it (otherwise known as the kiss of death) and even the not as bad as feared Zookeeper (produced by Sandler) had Sandler has a very unfunny monkey. Do something funny for God's sake and stop these awful awful movies. Please.

7)WINTER'S BONE- Yes it came out on 2010 and yes it was up for a bunch of Oscar's and yes it was the single most boring films I saw all year. I like slow pictures done by masters like Kubrick or Malick. I think Remains of the Day, a glacial picture, is a work a brilliance. This film looked like a travel guide to Appalachia country. Long shots of nothing done in a way that would have Terrance Malick saying get on with it, this film about a girl looking for her deadbeat father could have been interesting. However, the plot goes nowhere fast with no surprises at all. The Descendants is a great picture about the troubles of family life that I think is very similar to this in many ways. The big difference is that The Descendants had interesting characters in real situations while Winter's Bone felt like a movie and a long dull one at that. Rent only if your having trouble sleeping.

6)I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT-Someone keeps telling Sarah Jessica Parker she's a movie star. I got bad news for both you and Jennifer Aniston: GO BACK TO TV. How many bad films by these two do I have to sit through. Men are presented as worthless, insensitive pricks, a common theme in TV and film that is beyond old already. How would women like it if every show had a dumb blond, a barefoot pregnant wife and a shrew of a female boss? They'd riot. This Sex and the City clone was DOA in the box office so some women out there have taste.

5)TOM HANKS-The usually great actor stumbled badly this year with two craptaculars, Larry Crowne and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Both were unwelcome heartstring tuggers that seemed badly dated and in bad taste, a non-winning combo. Crowne had Hanks as a guy who loses his job, goes back to college and meets cute with Julia Roberts. This would have played fine in 1980, but in today's world this film was pure fantasy and a punch in the face to all the real unemployed out there. Extremely Loud plays fast and loose with a horrible tragedy that seems to be in ultra bad taste to introduce into a fictional movie. Can we wait a few decades before exploiting one of the greatest tragedies in American history? And Hanks, get a better manager or better scripts because you are way above this crap.

4)KIDS FILMS- A horrible year for kids films thanks to the eight million that were at the theater this year. Let's list all the box office disasters, leading up to my number one: Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2, Hoodwinked 2, Hop, Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer (why God why?), Mr. Poppers Penguins, Glee: the Movie, Spy Kids 4, Happy Feet 2, Chipwrecked, We Bought A Zoo, and the biggest disaster..........Mars Needs Moms, a 150 million dollar car wreck. Stop making so many kid movies as, you can see from the above list of losers, they are not making you the money they once did. Perhaps if you looked at their quality not quantity you'd make some actual money.

3)THE RITE- What the hell Anthony Hopikins is doing in this lame Exorcist ripoff is beyond me. How do you make exorcisms boring? Watch the film and learn all the tricks to the trade for doing just that. A terrible film.

2)TWEEN FILMS- Every bit as bad as the kids films, were a host of tween based films that, other than the reprehensible Twilight series, died a painful death at the box office. Beastly, I Am Number Four, Abduction, Red Riding Hood, Justin Bieber 3D, Water for Elephants, Prom, Priest, and Footloose all came and went. Twilight,a huge hit, still sucked by introducing the world's worst role model in Bella. Why women aren't getting angry at this waste of space character who is only defined by her male counterpart is beyond me. Some lousy films in this list bear the question who is running Hollywood?

1)SUCKER PUNCH- The most disappointing, unwatchable movie of the year. Supposedly made as a musical with all the music removed, this latest film from hit or miss director Zack Snyder is repellent, derivative and surprisingly boring. I loved Dawn Of the Dead and Watchmen and didn't care for 300, but this was awful on a whole new scale. The script was terrible, the acting awful, the directing pedestrian and I don't even know if I made it to the end as I don't remember anything about it. Truly the worst film of the year. NEVER WATCH UNLESS MASOCHISM IS YOUR THING!

Happy New Year all