Friday, November 16, 2012

THE REAPER STRIKES AGAIN: CBS' PARTNERS TAKES DIRT NAP

Not a huge shocker that CBS got rid of the struggling and quite awful sitcom Partners immediately following their last outing where they scored a lousy 1.8 in the ratings and dragging down what is an otherwise stellar night. Repeats of Two and a Half Men will replace it next week. What is more surprising is that Fox still has on Mob Doctor. That can't go on much longer, can it?

Friday, October 19, 2012

REAPER EUTHENIZES MONKEY DOCTOR AKA ANIMAL HOSPITAL.

The Reaper has struck down Animal Hospital after yet another sub par week. I liked the show myself but I love animals and the monkey was really funny and very well trained. The episode where the monkey painted on a canvas was really cool because the final picture looked pretty good for a human let alone a monkey. I thought they replaced the final piece with one done by a person but I found later the monkey likes to paint and it was all her so kudos to the monkey.

It will air it's final episode on November 14th and will be replaced by Whitney in her old time slot from last year. Community is still up for grabs so shows like Up All Night and Guys With Kids should be doubly nervous as to their fate, neither or which looks promising.

Who will the Reaper strike next? Mob Doctor and Partners I am looking your way.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

REAPER COMMITS ABORTION TO KILL WHAT'S LEFT OF DANE COOK'S CAREER

Poor Dane Cook had a bad week. First, his new show "Next Caller" was axed before ever airing. The show was about a foul mouthed Howard Stern shock jock paired with an NPR feminist. Four episodes had been shot before network executives killed it. According to reports, the show was not going in the desired direction making one of only a handful of shows to get axed before ever airing. Then, he was skewered during the opening monologue of SNL this weekend. I can't help but picture Cook sitting in front of his TV eating ice cream in his undies, trying to forget the fact that his career is dying before his eyes, when all of sudden Jason Sudekis shows up doing his less than flattering impression of the comic.

I like Dane Cook's stand up which many find grating. Comedy is subjective however and what one person finds funny, another may find it so not. I don't like Larry the Cable Guy or Mike Epps but their brand of humor isn't exactly aimed at an educated white guy from New England so I cut them some slack. The only comedian I never found funny, a person who didn't even really tell jokes, was Pauly Shore. His short lived sitcom was one of the worst shows I ever saw and am not exaggerating. His movies were terrible. Even Tom Green, another guy I don't find particularly funny, does make me laugh on very rare occasions,. However his one movie Freddie got Fingered was really, really bad. Pauly Shore bad.

Dane Cook has had a very similar career. While I found his stand up funny, his films have been pretty bad and forgettable . Employee of the Month. Yuck. Good Luck Chuck. Terrible. Answers to Nothing. Never even heard of it and the reviews are very unkind. With the cancellation of his latest attempt before even airing does not bode well for the Cookmeister's future. Some people are better at stand up than acting (cough, Chris Rock, Hack, wheeze.). Maybe Dane Cook is one of them.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

REAPER TAKES FIRST VICTIM OF FALL TV SEASON. WHO'S NEXT?

Somehow, someway, Fox's Mob Doctor was not the first to go but instead Made in Jersey, one of the lowest rated shows on TV, went first after only two episodes. As expected Undercover Boss will replace it on November 2nd. It will not be missed.

The Reaper is circling NBC on Monday's with Monkey Doctor Aka Animal Hospital, which I actually like and the worst new show of the year Guys With Kids. As both Whitney and Community have been postponed from this week's Friday debut, I expect either the two sitcoms on Wednesday will be either moved to the graveyard slot or killed outright in the coming weeks. Last night ratings were pretty dismal so either way, these two shows are toast in the the long run.

Polls suggest Mob Doctor and Animal Hospital are the two to watch out for as the Reaper readies his scythe. New show Chicago Fire has little hope as it's debut episode was meh at best, meaning most of NBC's Wednesday and Thursday shows are either dead or dying and need a major overhaul. Partners on Monday on CBS is likely to see the ax any day now and replaced by the why is this still on Rules of Engagement which has become the go to show for replacement failures.

Other than NBC though, ratings are down across the board. What this means for future programming is anyone's guess. What do you think will be the next to go?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

THE CAMPAIGN: BITING BLOODY SATIRE AT ITS BEST

Satire, specifically political satire, doesn't get done anymore and when some try they fail miserably. Winners like Wag the Dog, Bullworth, Bob Roberts, and Team America nailed the grotesqueness of the political arena while lesser films like Swing Vote. War Inc. and Mars Attacks were a big swing and a miss. Enter Will Farrell's latest comedy The Campaign, a dead on look at modern day politics that simply attacks EVERYONE. Republicans, Democrats, the media and most importantly, voters, are skewered mercilessly in a non stop orgy of laugh out loud humor.

Farrell plays four time House congressman Cam Brady, a caricature of every awful Democrat ever: horny, media savvy and clueless. He's about to run unopposed in his district when the Koch brothers, oops I mean the Motch brothers (Dan Ackroyd and John Lithgow), decide they can't control him anymore and run an effeminate but good natured local, Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis) as his GOP opponent. The end result is two candidates, one already destroyed by politics and the other slowly being devoured by it as well, in a brutal death match that is part hysterical comedy and part blueprint for everything wrong with this country.

Cam punches babies and dogs. Huggins struggles with his good nature as his devilish campaign manager, played perfectly by Dylan McDermott, drags him kicking and screaming into the below the belt nature of modern day politics. Along the way, we see pitch perfect depictions of the media molding the narrative for their own designs, of voters deciding who to vote for for the worst reasons possible, and a political race defined by big money and no ideas. Sound familiar?

The ads they run against one another are barely above what real candidates are actually running at this point. One fake ad compares Huggins to terrorists like Al Queda as both support mustaches. Michelle Bachman, along with five other brain dead Tea Party Congressman, have recently done just that to members of Congress and Hillary Clinton's staff with the same level of proof. Add to that a screenplay that has the gaul to include real facts about the state of the nation, the horror, and laughs can quickly turn to outrage as you realize you are indeed crying for both the movie being very funny and absolutely accurate in what it has to say. That is what films should be doing and rarely do anymore.

As expected, those on the right are seeing this film as an attack on them, which it is, but it also hits everyone else along the well, democrat, republican, the elites and idiot America all at the same time. The worthless rag, the NY Post, a newspaper so foul it shouldn't even be used to train puppies, ran a review from resident douchebag Kyle Smith, who makes AO Scott look like a Pulitzer Prize winner. In his blatantly partisan review he said he was shocked, SHOCKED, by the awful portrayal of the true American heroes, the Koch Brothers. he really said that in his review seen here:

http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/movies/no_saving_this_dimocracy_G0n8EMafOq9s4671VU2fCJ

I recommend anyone who actually like films to contact the NY Post and tell them in no uncertain terms that as long as they hire people like this who have NO business reviewing films that until he is gone, you will not advertise, you will not buy their rag, you will not tell anyone anything good about them until he is gone. Kyle Smith is a true asshole and I now live to see the day when I read in some better newspaper that some irate citizen threw hot soup into his eyes. I am sick to death of this kind of reviews from people being paid to watch films and not have a single reason why they should actually be doing this. There are too many people doing a job they shouldn't so as the rest of us starve to death on minimum wage, it's sickening to see some ass get his job because his daddy's runs the business or had a lot of money due to rich relatives. And yes Paul Ryan I am looking at you, you heartless bastards. More on his history and chances tomorrow. Hint: he's screwed.

This is one of the best movies of the year and a must see for all party affiliations as it tells you the absolute truth about what is really going on in politics today and in return, we get to laugh our asses off almost nonstop for the whole film. Go see it today.

5 stars out of 5

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

THE DARK NIGHT RISES: A FLAWED BUT SPECTACULAR MASTERPIECE

Normally I leave my reviews for my sister site Lost and Forgotten Films which, as of late due to time constraints, is more about reviewing films just out in theaters. But this film has many aspects which relate to today's world and while the film was far from perfect, it pluses were much more than the minuses. I will keep it spoiler free so as to not ruin the really great ending.



The movie takes place eight years after the Joker was caught and Harvey Dent aka "Two Face," is killed leaving Bruce Wayne/Batman broken in body and spirit. He has become a recluse whose fading fortune is hurting the charities he once championed. While having a party for Harvey Dent's memory, Bruce watches the gala from afar as Selina Kyle/Catwoman (Anne Hathaway looking spectacular in tight leather) makes off with a valuable heirloom from the Wayne Estate.





Meanwhile, Bane (A humongous Tom Hardy) is busy escaping from a CIA controlled jet with Dr. Pavel, a Russian scientist Bane needs, crashing the plane in the process in a thrilling sequence that sadly would not be replicated for most of the film.




The first act establishes the characters we know like Morgan Freeman's Lucious Fox, Michael Caine as Alfred and Gary Oldman as Commissioner Gordon. New ones like good cop Blake ( A magnetic Joseph Gordon Levitt which is good because I swear he's in the movie more than Batman), new CEO of Wayne Enterprises Miranda (Marion Cotillard of Inception as well. It's like half the cast was in this), and dick cop Foley played in a welcome return by Mathew Modine, whose career was killed by Cutthroat Island.



Batman is forced out of retirement after Bane steals all his money after a daring Wall Street heist and holds the city hostage with a giant nuke. Batman gets the crap beat out of him by Bane at one point, echoing the famous scene in the comics of Bane breaking Batman's back and throwing him into a prison half way round the world. This has been the problem with some of the haters out there but I had little issue with actually. The passage of time in this movie is handled rather poorly and can be confusing to some people who can't follow a non-continuous time line, which the film isn't. It's not Memento, Chris Nolan's first movie, or anything like that, but time does skip around for weeks at a time with no mention of it.



The main problems from the film involve a really SLOW middle act which should have been trimmed or tightened a little. Characters that are supposed to be of huge importance probably should have been introduced in previous films to establish some better character arcs. New and very important characters like Miranda, Catwoman and Blake should have been around at some point since the first film and not introduced in the last act of a trilogy. It would be like not having Gandalf in Lord of the Rings until the last film. It doesn't work.

The other problem I had were the rather lame fight sequences. Fight scenes are my favorite part of just about any film, especially super hero films, and here they had all the impact of a being hit with a wet sponge. I don't know who the fight co-oridinator was in this movie but he sucked. Batman and Bane duke it out with no good martial arts or even a batwing or two. Just punches and let me tell you that gets boring after a while. The resolution of Bane's character is kind of lame too with a terrible death scene and a questionable story arc revealed late in the film.



However, the slights aside, the film is a written masterpiece of subversive story telling. Chris Nolan can say what we wants about this not being a political film but it is anything but. The news may have actually hit upon something, although not in the conspiracy way that Fox would suggest. Bane IS a representative of the Tea Party Movement and even Occupy Wall Street to a certain extent. He is a populist figure using his power to get the underdogs to rise up with him and take over the city from the rich elites. The only problem is, he's just using the people for his own nefarious purposes and will eliminate millions of them without a second thought, a plan he actively tries in the film.



We have heard the movie used Bane as a reference to Mitt Romney and his Bain Capital ties. The funny thing, while I believe the Bane/Bain reference is entirely coincidental, the fact remains that Bane IS MITT ROMNEY. Mitt is trying to get people to vote against one's self interests so he can step in and slaughter the rest of us. We keep hearing that Mitt is a man of the people and he's looking out for the underdog. But he has no policy ideas that have been mentioned so far that will work and if things like the Paul Ryan Budget plan are ever enacted, society will collapse as we know it. That is not hyperbole or exaggeration, if that plan is ever enacted in it's entirety the country will spin out of control. If starvation, disease and poverty are what you want for you and your kids by all means vote for ANY GOP candidate come November. Just remember if you do that you will be voting for this man.



The film is a great piece of screenwriting with a few glaring problems. In no way is it better than The Avengers but few films this year will be.

4 stars out of 5

Monday, July 9, 2012

TED: FOUL MOUTHED, FILTHY AND FUNNY



Anybody who knows me, also knows Lemar. He is just like Ted in the fact that he is a foul mouthed, slightly racist, stuffed animal. My girlfriend and I carry him everywhere and have pictures of him from everywhere like Independence Hall to the Cayman Islands. Plus, he is a huge hit at parties where his Red Sox Jersey gets lots of laughs. If he ever came to life, he would be Ted.

This is easily one of the funniest movies of the year and a must see for anybody who likes Family Guy, one of my favorite shows. If gross out humor and drug use are not funny to you, don't bother. The rest, go see it today.

Mark Wahlberg is proving to be an ace at comedy with this and the Other Guys under his belt. Here he plays John, a man child trying to live with his dead end job, super hot girlfriend (Mila Kunis) and his living teddy bear, voiced by Seth McFarlane as Peter Griffith with a Boston accent. Ted shouting the word HARDER with his Boston twang is worth the price of admission alone.

John wants to grow up but his foul mouthed teddy bear keeps dragging him back into a world of drugs, hookers and generally bad behavior. The odd part is that Ted is actually a good guy, who is making mistakes anyone could make, and John is just too weak a person to say no. There is a lot of heart in this film, more than you would expect and John's girlfriend, Lori, is actually the smartest of the bunch rather than the heartless shrew many rom coms have women portrayed these days. Pretty much any film with J-Lo, Kate Hudson or Katherine Heigel falls into that category and considering the plunge in people paying to see these pieces of crap, maybe Hollywood should get the message and law off on these types of films for a while.

This is a great film and, as the box office will attest, people really want to see it. Fox, which had first crack at this, passed for some inane reason. When Universal is making wise decisions about films, the world has officially become topsy turvy.

There are some great cameos which I won't ruin here and the creepiest dance ever by Giovanni Ribisi that has to be seen to be believed. Think Silence of the Lambs' Buffalo Bill dance without the nudity and you'll get the idea.

Go see this film as a funnier picture will be hard to come by for the rest of the year.

4 and half stars of out five